Sunday, 30 December 2007

Opioid Growth Factor

This is some interesting information and hopefully will help other meso sufferers

Wednesday, 26 December 2007


Well, It's been a busy Christmas day as I have been catching up with the holiday washing, taking care of a poorly little boy, cooking Christmas dinner, like any normal day really and I would not have it any other way. I am so pleased to be here watching my children open their presents and enjoying their Christmas.
Kieran was pleased that Santa delivered his Nintendo Wii and the Lego star wars complete saga game he asked for in his letter, Siobhan and Rich also had a Wii each and an iPod with docking station. Siobhan was saying even if she added all her albums to it, she couldn't fill the 80 gig memory!
They seem to have enjoyed themselves.

My sister will be out later for a bite to eat. We will be remembering my dad as this was his favourite time of year. He would make mince pies and sing kareoke and thoroughly enjoyed himself. He also liked his tipple of dark Rum.

I bought a "songstars" kareoke dvd for the PS2 and will put it on today and remeber my dad. (Merry Christmas Dad where ever you are).
I will catch up with the website after Christmas and new year. I am back to work tomorrow so Happy Christmas and enjoy every minute.

Monday, 24 December 2007

Merry Christmas and a happy new tumble dryer!

I wish all my new friends I have met on here a very Merry Christmas and I hope you enjoy your day tomorrow. I am so happy to be able to celebrate thisChristmas and I know a lot of my new friends know what that feeling is like.
A very merry Christmas also to some very special people, family and friends, who have supported me since I found out my diagnosis, You are amazing and I really appreciate your loyalty and friendship, Thankyou.
I went in town early this morning with my sister and got some last minute pressies and also went to visit a friend this evening to drop of some gifts for them tomorrow.
Kieran is a lot better today and managed to write a letter to Santa which I posted for him.
He has been so poorly and it is good to see him getting back to his old self.
He is looking forward to seeing if Santa has answered his wishes and brought him a Nintendo Wii game consol and the Lego star wars game to go with it.
I hope Santa answers all his wishes (I'm sure he will).

I will let you know tomorrow. Right now, I have to go to bed or Santa will not come......ssshhhh see you tomorrow.

Sunday, 23 December 2007

Midnight dash

I took my youngest son, Kieran, to the out of hours doctors surgery last night.
He and Siobhan, my daughter, had started a cough on the last day of our holiday and Kieran had developed a very high temprature last night. He was vomitting and very lathargic. Siobhan still has a cough but seems to be han dling it better.
I was worried about Kieran and took him to the surgery which was in our local hospital were he was seen quite quickly.
He was given some Calpol, every parents favourite, as we had returned to late to get to a chemist. He had quite a good night and had a day of lazing on the sofa with his duvet and his new blanket he bought from Lapland, it has a large husky dog on it.
He seems a lot better today, he hasn't eaten anything but he has been drinking which is the most important. I am going to give him some flat cola as well as I had a GP who swore by it and it does seem to work in replacing fluids and sugars.

Saturday, 22 December 2007

Back from ye North

The children and I arrived back home today after a trip to Lapland.
It is a very beautiful place.
I am going to add the full report about the trip in the holiday blog part of the site.
Thankyou for your many good wishes for Christmas and new year, it is good to know I have so many great supporters and new friends.
The ex had to get a new washing machine while we were away as we could not find anyone to fix the old one until new year! With holiday washing, that is not good. I tried the tumble dryer and it looks like that is on the way out too! Oh happy days... : )
I would like to take this oppurtunity to say Merry Christmas and a happy and wishful new year to all who log on. May all your wishes be granted for 2008.

Wednesday, 19 December 2007

Happy birthday Kieran

A very happy birthday to my little boy, Kieran who is 11 years old today.
We had a cake made by the hotel we were in which tasted wonderful. I broke my sugar rule for his birthday.
I bought him a camera for his birthday and he thoroughly enjoyed taking pictures.
Happy birthday sweet heart, I love you
Mum x

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

Grease night

We had a brilliant night out last night. The evening was filled with great music, great entertainment and most of all, I went with some great friends and family.
We all dressed up for the night, we had cheerleaders, pink ladies, T-birds and some people, who were not with us, dresses up as Ninja's, Super Mario and some other crazy characters that were nothing to do with Grease! The picture is of myself and my sister. I look forward to the next one, Thanks guys.
Well, this is it, we are off to Lapland today, Kieran has a little play to do for the other children in the school and I will pick him up around 11:00am. I will do a holiday blog when I get back.

Monday, 17 December 2007

Happy Birthday Dad

It is my dad's birthday today and he would have been 70. I went to the cemetery and left a wreath and also left one for my cousin.
I am going out to a Grease themed evening tonight at the Holiday inn i Plymouth. I am going to celebrate my dad while I am there.

Dad, where ever you are, I love and miss you, you were taken too soon.
I believe you are with me every day.
I will toast you tonight and remember the wonderful person you were and still feel yoi in my heart and my memories.
As you always loved Monty python, I will quote a line to you that is very much the person you were and the very wise advice you would gave me.

"Always look on the bright side of life".

I love you
Debbie x

Sunday, 16 December 2007

Last day at work for a while

I have just finished my 3 day shift (the pod decoration is here) and am very excited about going to Lapland.
I am going out tomorrow night with my friends from work as we are going to a "grease" theme night. That should be fun. I will be off to Birmingham on Tuesday and ready to leave for Lapland on Wednesday which is also my little boys birthday, he will be 11. I am looking forward to Christmas this year, much more than I was last year.
I will add a post tomorrow as it is also my dear dad's birthday.

Friday, 14 December 2007

Christingle Service

Every Christmas my son and his school have been part of a Christingle service at a local church. The Christingle service is to remind the children of the birth of the baby Jesus. The children each have an Orange.

*The Orange represents the world.
*The red ribbon represents the blood of Christ.
*The candle for the light,
*The four sticks represent the north, south, east and west and the four seasons.
*The sweets represent the fruits of the earth.

This is the last one as next year he will be going to a new school.
My employers very kindly let me have time off to go as I am working 8am till 8pm today.
The service was lovely. He was called out to say a prayer in front of everyone watching and he was wonderful.
I am so pleased to be seeing the second one since my diagnosis as last year I was so upset as I thougt it was my last Christmas.

I am so proud of him.

Well done little bean, you were fantastic.

I love you x

Mesothelioma Survivor

I have had a link sent to me from one of the many followers of Meso and me. Suzanne finds amazing links and she found a link about a woman in Adelaide who has survived Meso for 10 years and she is pregnant.

Thanks Suzanne, I know a lot of people will be inspired by this. Keep them coming!

Thursday, 13 December 2007

Next CT scan

My next scan is on 7th January. I will have my follow up appointment on 18th January. I am so hoping to get the same result and always have the same feelings before the appointment. The stress and worry of Theo growing is the worst. I don't want to hear that. I appreciate his efforts of not growing and he will hopefully stay as he is for a very long time. ITV have decided against running the story. I thought it was a little contrversial although the publicity would have given Meso another kick.
I am sure there will be oter times. I am off in town now to do some more Christmas shopping before the Lapland trip. I really wish I could get a private plane and give invites to all those that have supported me. Alas, that isn't going to happen so I will take you all in spirit.

Wednesday, 12 December 2007

Christmas shopping

My son's school organises a small Chrismas shopping trip for the parents who attend the coffee mornings at his school. This year we went to Trago Mills in Newton abbot, my sister came aswell and it was lovely. We had lunch and looked around the shops. There was a notice up at the little station which we found quite amusing. My friend took her son on while the train while my sister and I browsed the shops for gifts. I found a lovely little shop that catered for diabetics and bought myself some sugar free chocolates to put away for Christmas. We had a lovely day and I am taking my youngest son to the cinema this evening to see "Bee Movie" which looks fun. We will go for something to eat afterwards. What a wonderful day : )

Tuesday, 11 December 2007

Christmas Assembly

This time last year I thought I was seeing my son, Kieran, in his school asembly for the last time. I am so pleased to be here and see him in this years performance. He sang 2 songs with his class and was wonderful. I now have a new target, next christmas!
He is looking forward to his trip next week as am I and my other 2 children.

I went to the funeral parlour afterwards with my sister and my friend and made my arrangements with the undertakers. I have sorted out as much as I can at the moment. I gave the poor undertaker a task which shocked him, I asked for a purple coffin with purple lining inside. He went away and made some calls and came back with a very positive 'yes'. I didn't like to ask if I could have dragonflies on it also!

I have done it now, I don't want to have my children arranging it for me and especially want to put it behind me and carry on with the future I have.
I have got ITV coming over on Thursday as they have asked if I wil do a peice to camera about the bitter comments I had through a local newspaper. I will put across that the media had nothing to do with me getting the payment. It will aslo add a little more publicity to the awareness of Mesothelioma and asbestos exposure.

Monday, 10 December 2007

Funeral arrangements

I am going to a funeral directors tomorrow with a good friend of mine to make arrangements for my day when ever that may happen. It has to be one of the hardest things I have ever had to do but I don't want my children to have to do it. I love them so much and it breaks my heart to plan this and as I said before, I want t start 2008 with a clean slate. I want to put this behind me. I know what music I want and roughly what I want the service to be like. I am not a heavily religious person so will talk about the whole thing tomorrow.

Sunday, 9 December 2007

Christmas Decs at work

My team mates and I have been busy making our work space into an ice palace. the theme for
the call centre work spaces and teams are Christmas Films. We have chosen "The nightmare before Christmas. I made the Jack and Sally figures for halloween and was pleased to hear we could use them again. My team mates have been making icycles with paper and it is like a scene from blue pater with all the paper and scissors around. We have 15 windows made from card board and the colour we picked for our team was black. I have really enjoyed making the props for the team.
One of my team mates is coming with me on Tuesday as I am going to make funeral arrangements for myself. It is not something I want to do but I want to end this year with the arrangements and start the new year fresh with a positive mind ahead. Putting the arrangements at the end of 2007 hopefully help all of us to move on.

Saturday, 8 December 2007

Morning after

I enjoyed my night out although it was a shame that the venue was opened to the public at 10:00pm as it would have been better to have a little longer mingling and dancing with friends. I out danced one of the guys there which was a great feeling. I was so impressed with myself as I was dancing to some really upbeat tunes for about 20 minutes.
I haven't got any pictures as I forgot to take them. After the event, I went to a casino with a friend. I have never been in one before and didn't waste any pennies. I watched my friend lose his!
I haven't got a clue when it comes to poka and pontoon. I would be hopeless but at leats now I can say I went in one.
A lot of guys on the team are going down with ome kind of bug. I seem to be ok at the moment and feel like I can battle anything.
1 week to go before Lapland and counting!!! No illnesses please !

Friday, 7 December 2007

Orange Christmas

I am out with friends tonight at the Orange Christams party. I work for Orange, the mobile phone company and am looking forward to the night. There will be awards given to those who have done well in the call centre and it will be great to socialise with my team mates.
I also went out last night with some of my team mates and had a great time. I am still abstaining from alchohol, been about 6 weeks now. I was never a heavy drinker, I liked the occasional beer after work. I have put that on hold as it contains yeast and I want to see if it will make a difference.
I have also cut down on sugar, I admit to being a chocoholic and have kept away from that for more that 6 weeks.
I have not had any cravings and the worst thing I am trying to do is stay away from bread.
Yeast free bread is not as nice as normal bread and I find it hard to change that. I am going to start making soda bread.
I have done quite well keeping away from dairy.

Wednesday, 5 December 2007


Hampshire asbestos support and awareness group is run by 2 sisters who unfortunately lost their dad to Mesothelioma in December 2005. They have worked hard to raise awareness with this disease and I will be adding a link to their site if anyone wants more information. My daughter sees to all that and as she is studying hard for her illustration course, she will add it when she can.
In the meantime, the link is below :

Please take a look, I hope it is helpful.

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

comments removed

I have had word that the comments on the website have now been removed. I am taking some very good advice and ignoring the person concerned.
I have just finished my 3 days of work and am going to finish off the decor for the work place and put it all up on Saturday.

I have booked the travel insurance through my work and have organised the travel to Birmingham.
I think I am looking forward to Lapland more than the children!
I will be adding a blog when we come back. I will add it to the holiday blog.

Thanks to my friends for their great support.

Monday, 3 December 2007

Targeted again

I have another comment from the guy who seems very bitter about my payment.
I have responded and have asked him to contact me directly and not go through the newspaper as he is becoming quite malicious in his comments. He is trying to say I blame my dad for my illness. I have never blamed my dad and loved him immensly. I am not sure if this a malicious attack by a family member as the person comments on my family all the time, assuming illnesses and how they feel. It's like it is an attack that is very personal.
This is the first letter (which was not from the malicious person):
I am very happy that Mrs Brewer has won a satisfactory settlement from the Ministry of Defence. I am sure that this settlement was only made possible by the attention of the press and certainly not through the benevolence of the MOD. Mrs Brewers claim that the disease was occasioned by the contact with her fathers overalls was perhaps a little tenuous when considered against the refusal of the Ministry of Defence to compensate service men for the same condition. A warship was only habitable, if that is the word,because of the vast amounts of Asbestos that was used to insulate the ships. Blue asbestos being sprayed onto baremetal surfaces to a depth of about 50mm to insulate from the sea. Machinery spaces where it was only possible to work day in and day out surrounded by asbestos lagging. The dust caused by that material being subjected to the vibrations of high speed machinery and the effects of rough weather caused many of us,who were proud to serve in the Royal Navy,to conract asbestos related lung disease. That is a fact and is not denied by the MOD. As we were serving personnel and not civilian employees or their dependants we as a body are barred from any compensation. Is this really fair?
John, Kelly Bray

The second letter is more personal :

I do agree with john , i believe Mrs Brewer has dragged her poor family and fathers name through the press to get the settlement i cannot imagine what her mother and her fathers other children are going through. I worked in the dockyard also lagging , i got a payment nothing close to Mrs Brewers , NONE of us have and i imagine her poor father was the same ,its wrong.
william j , plymouth

My Response :

I read, with interest, the comment left by William, I am sorry he has an asbestos related illness also. As I said before, I did not work with asbestos, I have had this disease through no fault of my own. I have not dragged my family through the media. I know that he probably gets an industrial injury benefit that I am unable to get and if he was in my position, if he had never worked with it and found he had been exposed, would he really sit back and do nothing? Don’t attack me as I am an innocent in all this. I was a child when I was exposed. I could do nothing to avert myself from getting Mesothelioma, if I could have then I would have. I have nothing but pride for my dad and he should never have been put through the anguish and trauma which is the same as William is suffering. It is a disgrace. My media attention had nothing to do with the claim but has had a lot to do with highlighting the wrong doing of the MoD. I am 48 years old and not sure if I will see my children grow and create their own families. That is so heartbreaking for me. I have a full time job and work to support my family. If I could rid myself of cancer, I would gladly give up that payment. Direct your anger were it should be directed, at those who have given us a life sentence. Contact me at if you want to discuss things further.
Debbie Brewer, Plymouth

And the third one after my response :

"Direct your anger were it should be directed, at those who have given us a life sentence." so in this case your dad? as he was the one who "gave " you the disease ? Another question , well , an opinion , surely your mother would have got meso from your father before you? very confusing. if i was in your position (which techniclly i am , i am dying )i would of done the same mrs brewer , however as john said , you have used your poor fathers name and reeped reward from the media . I am happy you got a payment from the mod ,its a blessing for you and your family however , i feel it was highly elevated due to media pressure and i feel for your mother and the rest of your family,it cannot possibly be easy for them . regards , will.
william j , plymouth

And my response again :
William, I have read your comment and do not understand your bitterness towards me. Is it the money? You don't know how much I got and are assuming an amount I am sure. Why should I blame my father? He, as you, did not know. I loved my dad and he would never have passed on this disease to me or any of his children. I am grateful that no one else in my familyhas it. I would appeciate it if you did not put words in to my mouth as I have never blamed my dad. I was referring to the MoD as you well know. You do not know my family and have no right to comment on any of them. You seem very bitter at having your disease, I am too and would stop at nothing to rid myself of it as you would. Attacking me for challenging a company who gave me this is very bitter. If you think the decisison was wrong then ask the MoD to lodge an appeal. They investigated fully, my work history where I lived and every avenue of my life. Media pressure had noting to do with it. I would appreciate it if you did not pretend to know my family and you have no idea about any illness my mother has or has not. Have the guts to contact me privatley and talk to me face to face. My email is I look forward tohearing from you
Debbie Brewer, Plymouth

I am still trying to come to terms with my illness and this person seems intent on attacking me. I just want to know why it is getting so personal? It must be the money, But why? We have the same illness. Who knows. I will wait and see if he agrees to speak with me personally.

(Footnote) William never contacted me and all comments were taken off the local papers site. I would imagine that he is angry because he thinks I have received a great amount from the MoD. I didn't, I just don't want to reveal it. Some people get very bitter, It isn't a lottery win!
All I can say is you are welcome to the money if you take all the pain and anguish that goes with it.

Alimta battle continues

Yet another Mesothelioma sufferer is denied Alimta when this could extend his life by a few months. Victor Lamb is having to pay for his own treatment when it should be freely available on the NHS. When is this goverment going to take any notice of the voices who want the drug.
Victor was featured on the front of our local paper and the link is below.

It is an idividual choice and if it gives the sufferer hope, who are this company to deny it. I have never heard of any company or committee so inappropriatley named "NICE" they certainly are not.
The update on the Alimta appeal will not be available until later this year or early next year. For some people this is too late. The link below details a little more about the meeting/appeal.

Come on people the scottish have this drug free, we are run by a scottish minister, this is an unfair judgement and we all need to shout some more.

Sunday, 2 December 2007

Lapland tickets

Yay !! I have the tickets for Lapland....I am so looking forward to it. It will be myself and the 3 children going. Now the panic starts with the passports and documents.
This is the part I don't like much, I will be fine when we are on the plane bit have this mad panic about the passports, tickets and documentation.
I would say I was OCD'd up but I was told I could not say that as I don't have OCD. What that means is I have not been diagnosed with it but still have the mad panic and sweats that occur with this condition.
It isn't pleasant and I do try and ask myself..what is the worst that can happen? That is why I panic, I am trying to stop that worse moment happening. I am going to sort out the insurance and travel to the airport tomorrow.
Any way...back to the main subject.......YAHOOOO!!!!!!!
: )

Saturday, 1 December 2007

Kieran's early birthday party

I arranged for my son, Kieran, to have an early birthday party with his friends as he will be in Lapland on his birthday. He will be 11 years old on 19th December. He had his party at the local bowling centre. He thoroughly enjoyed himself and his friends had a great time too. His favourite thing to do though was to go on a simulator ride in the bowling complex, I am sure he went on it 4 times! Good job I arranged the bowling !!!
He was so worried he would miss out on a birthday party as we would be away. We had a bit of a panic on the way home as my rear view mirror had decided to fall off. My eldest son, Richard had commented that it was against the law to drive with no rear view mirror, Kieran heard a siren in the back ground and panicked saying he thought the police were after me for not having a mirror. I calmed him down by pointing out the ambulance behind us and that I would get a kit to fix the mirror.
Panick over ....the mirror is now fixed! He is so sweet.