Wednesday, 30 April 2008

Not feeling well

I have not been felling too good today, I took my mistletoe last night and have taken my antibiotic this morning. I have felt nauseous all day and have slept most of the afternoon.
Kieran has gone to stay with his dad overninght as he has no school tomorrow.
I am hoping I feel better tomorrow as I really want to get back to work.

No work today

I am going to call my manager today and tell him I won't be at work. I have my last day of antibiotics and although I feel well, I am feeling tired.
I will go back tomorrow as I won't have to worry about antibiotics and if I do feel tired or unwell that I can come home.
I have been placed on another brilliant team who are so positive and happy.
I do appreciate all that Orange management are doing for me. If it wasn't for their support, I would have had to given up work long ago. I know my work helps me keep things as normal as possible for my children and for myself.

Tuesday, 29 April 2008

Contact with Park Attwood

I had a call from Park Attwood clinic this afternoon to arrange my next phone consultation appointment with Dr Maria.
I was asked if I would be willing to talk to someone else in the same position I am in and I said yes. I was told there were 2 ladies that go to Park Attwood for Mistletoe treatment and have Mesothelioma, that really lifted me as Dr Orange had mentioned that one of the ladies had been having treatment with Mistletoe for around 18 months and I had wanted to get in touch. Some people don't want to talk to anyone for a long time and others, like myself, want information about treatments and the disease itself.
Park Attwood is an amazing place and I know I have said it all before, but it is such a wonderful place to go for a break even if you don't want treatment from them. The people are so inspirational and I wonder if that is a must have to be on their CV's!!
I have my next phone consultation on 29th May and will hopefully be a lot better than I have been this time.
Park Attwood is charity based and I would love to do some fund raising for them sometime.

Mistletoe jab tonight

I have just spoken to Dr Maria and confirmed that the antibiotics are fine to take with Mistletoe. It has boosted my immune system to help cope with the chest infection and has also made a big difference to how I feel as the chest infection would usually have knocked me for six but although I have felt tired I have not felt unwell.
I mentioned about the periods and the fact that I have probably started the menopause.
There is no way of checking what syptoms are the menopause and what is the Mistletoe. It is a combination of both and with my system lowered with the hormone change during my monthly period, that would make me more prone to getting a flu or infection.

I am having another mistletoe treatment this evening and again on Friday and I have to do that every week and will speak to Dr Maria in a month.
I will inject 20mg into the abdomin tonight and hopefully, it won't affect my work rota.
So, I am back on top again and happy with that and am hoping the Mistletoe keeps Theo in Check!

Phone consultation

I will be ringing Park Attwood this morning to talk to Dr Maria. I have a few questions to ask her,

* antibiotics and Mistletoe, do they work together?
* Periods and Mistletoe, Does a period make the symptoms worse?

I hope she can answer these questions and if she can, this will help me deal with the symptoms.
I have been nauseus and even sick every day since I started the chest infection, I like to think that when I am sick it is the cancer being removed from my system.
It probably isn't but it makes me feel better.

I am feeling a lot better today and may even return to work tomorrow.

Monday, 28 April 2008

Shadow and Kieran

This is such a lovely picture. My son loves our new cat, Shadow, who has settled into the family very well. As you can see.....he has made himself at home and looks very relaxed here. He has made such a difference to our family and has filled a giant gap that was left by our 2 previous cats, Patch and Tigereye.

Workers memorial day

It has been a quiet day today compared to action mesothelioma day. I thought that something would have been in the media, apart from Jackie's awareness day on 23rd April, I haven't seen much at all.

I have been a lot better today although the tiredness is very much a part of this. I am wondering if the tiredness is due to anemia, I stopped taking my immune defence tablets because Dr Callebout said the iron content in the supplement wasn't good for the system.
I went out this morning and met up with some friends which was wonderful. We have arranged to go away for a few days in May which I am looking forward to.
I have such a battle in my mind at times as when I get something like asthma or chest infection, I immediatley think the worst. when it starts to clear up, it is such a relief, this messes wih my mind constantly. I called my oncoclogist today and spoke to his secretary and asked her to send my details to Professor Vogel in Germany.
I am still waiting for the results from Dr Callebout as I have recieved a receipt for the payment concerning the blood/urine tests.
It is all a waiting game and I really hope that I have that time to wait.
I am feeling more positive today and am sure I will be back at work Wednesday.

Good morning

I am feeling much better this morning The pain in my shoulder is going and the breathlessness has not as bad as it was.
I was so frightened that I was on the downard path and am not ready to leave my children and life behind.
I am still feeling a little tired but will try and rest as much as possible before Wednesday as I am due back to work. I am meeting some friends this morning and having lunch with my daughter, Siobhan so it should be a nice easy day.
I am going to call the hospital again about sending my records over to Germany. The next Mistletoe jab is due tomorrow and i will see what Dr Maria thinks about what has happened in the last week. I really hope the Mistletoe has helped to kick the chest infection into shape as apart from being tired, I feel so well in myself.

Sunday, 27 April 2008

Phone call from a friend

I had a phone call today from one of the members on the site, Jan, she called as she had read the blogs and felt she needed to call to say everything would be fine. Jan lost her dear husband, Ross this year after finding out his diagnosis in December 2006.
She was so lovely to talk to and made me feel better about the future. All the things I can do like driving my car and working, I am hopeflly a long way off from the end.
I am so determined to see Christmas 2008, I have so much happening this year.
Thank you Jan you have been great and I hope we can keep in touch for a very long time.
I also spoke to Sue, she lost her son, Michel, to Mesothelioma, He lived in Italy and she is someone who hasn't given up the fight. Like most families that have lost a loved one to this cancer, she is angry and directs it into something positive.

A short noe about an email I had from Suzanne.....she was telling me how she had forgotten her bathing suit when she took her sons swimming, Clever me thought I would email back a story to her about when I went swimming with my daughter when she was about 18 months old. I had my bathing suit on under my clothes, I got out to change after swimming and had knickers!!! unfortunatley I had a typo moment and Suzanne's email said Knockers ... : )

I went out in the car with Kiean and Siobhan and felt home and went to bed for a couple of hours....I feel so much better now. I am not sure if the Mistletoe is working as I have been ill twice in the bathroom so it may be attacking the chest infection (that is what I think I have).
I like to think it is doing something.

A message for Theo
Come on Theo.......what has happened to us? I thought we were pals!!
I will be taking you on a trip to Germany soon if you don't stop bothering me....your choice boy!

Not much change

I had a good night last night, apart from the night sweats that are very uncomfortable. I haven't had them before so it was a shock to wake up feeling sweaty.

I have been taking the antibiotics for 24 hours and am hoping that by tomorrow I will see a change as I feel like I have a chest infection although I don't know where it has come from as I haven't had a cold ar flu. I am going to ask Dr Maria about it as I am concerned that this is the beginning of the end and I don't want that.

I have so much to look forward to, my little son starts hi new school in September and I want to be there for him. My daughter is doing well at college and I want to see her get the job she has worked so hard for and my middle son is being difficult at the moment, he doesn't have a job and doesn't seem to have any intention of doing so and needs to learn that if something is leant to him, he needs to take responsibilty for it. It wasn't a good meeting as all I want him to do is be responsible and get a job to support himself. He doesn't seem interested in that.
It was lovely to have a hug with my little son this morning as I missed him, he went to his dad's for 3 days and

Saturday, 26 April 2008

Not good news

I went to the out of hours Dr's surgery this morning and explained to the Dr about the pain and tightness I was experiencing. She listened in and told me that it was not the Asthma as there was no wheeze and it was probably the tumour that had grown.
I feel so let down as I was hoping the Mistletoe would just keep it contained and it wouldn't grow for a while. It seem that Theo is determined to take over and our deal is off.
I am going to contact my oncologist on Monday and get him to send the last report of my illness to Dr Vogel in Germany asap.
I have not heard from Dr Callebout and I must admit,I did think I would hear from him by now as it is important to get things started.
I am very worried now as I do not want to leave, This illness is such a cruel, unfair one.
No hope, no cure, no future.
Why has the UK not caught up with Europe and give hope for people with this awful cancer?
I am so angry and am not prepared to take it lyng down because if I do, I may not get back up again.

Can't sleep

It is 3.00am in the morning
(feel like I am going to burst into song.... : )
and I have just taken some more pain killers as the pain in my shoulder is quite bad.
It reminds me of the pains I had when I first started the symptoms back in 1994. I think my Asthma has kicked in and at the advice and fear of my great friend Julie, I will not be going to work but I will be making an appointment at the emergency surgery this morning. I am hoping they don't say that I have to go into hospital as I don't want to do that.

If I can get rid of this pain in my shoulder, it will be easier to live with. I am also going to contact my McMillan nurse next week and see if there is any support I can have with sorting out the house and the family as I am sure I am doing too much. Dr Callebout would be tearing his hair out if he could see me now. I like going to work and don't like taking time off. Sometimes I will have to but the only reason I am doing it is because of the pain and the breathlessness. The inhalers are not touching the asthma so I may need some steroids to kick it into touch.

Poor Theo (my tumour) has been getting the grief for it and I don't think it is him who is playing up! It feels like the pain killers are starting to work as I am feeling tired and the pain has diminished to what it was. Yesterday morning I took them and scared myself by dropping off to sleep and letting out a huge snore! I looked around but there was no one else to blame as I was on my own!!
Well....I am off to sleep now and will add more tomorrow.

Friday, 25 April 2008

Not feeling well.

I have not been feeling well today, I have had a pain in my back and have been feeling a little breathless. I did think about staying home but changed my mind as I am so afraid of resting and not recovering from this. I don't feel unwell in myself but the pain is what is getting me down.

I rang the German clinic today as I am seriously thinking about Chemo Embolization. I have to ask my oncologist to send the latest report by fax and I will get a call from Dr Vogel.
I have heard thet there is a very good success rate with Chemo Embolization.
Today I have been thinking about even more as I am not feeling well.
The symptoms of Mistletoe are flu like and tireness but as I have my monthly period at the moment, when I was in Park Attwood I had my period and got a really bad migraine with the treatment and I was tols that my period would affect it.

I have told my manager that if I feel unwell tomorrow I won't be in work and he said that was fine.
Kieran will be back home tomorrow and it will be lovely as the house is so quiet. It is only Siobhan and I at home. She is missing her boyfriend as he has gone to Japan for 10 days.
I hope I feel better tomorrow. I can take pain killers but not while I am driving as they make me feel sleepy.

Thursday, 24 April 2008

It has been difficult at work today, I have had aches all day long and I have had my coat off and on as one moment I am hot the next I am cold. Hopefully tomorrow will be easier. The Mistletoe creates a fever which is very like flu symptoms and my immune system then has to control. I cannot take paracetomol or nurofen as that will take the temprature down and the pain killers I can take, I can not drive as they make me sleepy. I am going to have an early night and hopefully will feel better tomorrow.
My daughter, Siobhan had made a meal when I got home which was nice it is just us two in the house as Kieran is with his dad, Richard has got attitude with me over wrecking my laptop (water went over it) and he hasn't come home since last weekend and Siobhan's boyfriend has gone to Japan for 10 days.
It is so quiet here.....not sure if I like it.

Achy day

My Mistletoe treatment gave me a slight fever last night. My poor old bones are aching and I feel a little tired. I am back to work today and am sure I will manage.
If I feel too unwell, I will come home.
I didn't get to bed until late last night as Kieran has no school due to the teachers strike, His dad picked him up and ordered a cab which didn't arrive until 10:15pm as he finished work at 8:45pm.

Just heard on the news that some teachers get £33,000 a year pay and they are moaning about not being paid enough!!!! What about the people who do an important job like ambulance men and nurses. A lot of public sector workers don't get any where near £33,000 and it seems that the children are being used as a lever to force the goverment to pay teachers.
Instead of paying them the people with plueral plaques!!!!!
There was a lady being interviewed on the one show on BBC 1 last night who has pleural plaques through her father working with asbestos. It is an absolute disgrace as Scotland had decided to go out on its own and pay the people affected in their area.
Come on Gordon....get your finger is too short for some people. Mesothelioma payments need to be sorted out as well.... what happened to this new rule that was supposed to start in early 2008?

If someone discovers they have Mesothelioma, they cannot claim industrial injury benefit and there fore lose out on constant disablement benefit and severe disablement benefit. When they win a large claim, and beleive me , it isn't that large, that is all they have available. I myself have had my share of people not happy with my claim as they say they don't get as much. I am sure that it all evens out in the end.
OOpps.....getting political now..... anyway, back to the subject in hand......I will see how I feel today, I am sure I will be fine.

Wednesday, 23 April 2008

Workers memorial event, Derriford, Plymouth

Pictured from left to right, Carol Lamb, Kelly Jane, Yours truly and Jackie Lowe.
I went to Jackie's awarenes event this morning. It was a quiet event , even so, some people took information away with them. Julian Cason, he is a solicitor for Russell Jones and Walker was also present. It was spooky as he seemed to know more about me than I do as he reads the website! It is all good though and it was lovely meeting you Julian : )

The event started at the Mustard Tree within the hospital and then went down to the foyer. It is suprising how so little awareness there is with renovations and asbestos.

How many people actually know what they are drilling into or demoloshing and it isn't like dropping something on your foot and you are injured right away....Asbestos sneaks into the body and the injury isn't shown for years.
****** Ignorance is dangerous! *******

It was good to see Kelly jane and carol Lamb, they lost Victor a few months ago. Kelly Jane is expecting her baby in July and I hope it all goes well for her.
Well done Jan and Jackie as you both work so hard for this cause, I can hear
Jan now saying she doesn't do anything, but she does, she supports her daughters in highlighting this wrong. They are an amazing family and I am sure there will be a lot more awareness days with them at the helm!

Tuesday, 22 April 2008

Tool shed is down

I am having my back garden renovated and had a little garden shed that belonged to my ex. I dismantled it this morning to make room for the builders.
I am quite proud of myself as I am not going to let anything get in my way. I am taking the car for an MOT this morning. I am going into the city centre with my daughter which is something I have not done for a while.
Kieran is back at school, he was looking forward to see his friends and telling them all about his break, that means train stations, star wars and all his other obsessions!
Hopefully the car will pass her test as she is wonderful....we have bonded and I don't want to lose her.

My poor Halo!!

My little car, Halo, is not well.....she has had her MOT and has failed it. This means getting her repaired or a new car. We have been through so much together and it would be too hard to part with her. I have decided I will get her repaired as I want to put as much as I can into a new house. I got Halo in June 2003 when I was taking my driving lessons/test. I fell in love with her then and feel very attached to her. I am going to keep her and hopefully I will get some more miles out of her. When we get our new house, eventually, I will think about another car but as she is so economical and drive worthy, I intend to stay with her.
I picked my car up this evening and stupidly left my bank card at the garage....Good job the mechanic is a family friend!!
I am so dippy latley I will pick it up tomorrow morning and deliver a keyboard to my sister for her computer.

Mistletoe this evening

I am giving myself another injection of Mistletoe tonight, 20mg, and hopefully there will be no side effects or very little as I am off out to the Mustard Tree for Jackie's workers memorial day event. The symptoms seem to be ok, it is only when something is invading that the nausea starts which is good as it shows it is doing what it should.
I am mastering the injections now,,,it was hard at first as there is a big divide between needle and administering it personally. I had a terrible time when I had to do it first time but now, it is so much easier.

Monday, 21 April 2008

Happy birthday Wendy

I am off out this morning to meet friends. Kieran is back to school tomorrow so I will have a bit more time to do what needs doing to get the house sorted out for selling. There is so much to do.
Yesterday was quite tiring in work as it seemed that the majority wanted to moan......... it must be the Sunday feeling!!
I have a good team though and it is good to go in and see everyone.

Just a quick reminder about Wednesday at Derriford hospital. it will be at 10.00 to 12.00 in the Mustard tree and then at the reception in the hospital. There will be information about asbestos and Mesothelioma.
For more information, contact Jackie Lowe
I want to say a very happy birthday to my sister, Wendy.
She has been a great support to me and I hope she has a wonderful day.

Saturday, 19 April 2008

Workers Memorial Day

Workers memorial day is on 28th April 2008. Jackie Lowe and her family have organised a get together at the

Mustard Tree Derriford Hospital
Wednesday 23rd April
10.00am until 12.00pm

It will then transfer to the reception part of the hospital for information about Mesothelioma and Asbestos illness/exposure.
Any one intersted is welcome to attend.It will be held on 23rd April as the venue will not be available on the 28th April.
Workers memorial day is a day to remember all those who have suffered or have lost their lives in the work place

Mac got wet

I have an apple mac lap top and have been letting my 18 year old son use it.
Yesterday it had a cup of water tipped over it and apparently it was the cats fault.
I will have to have words with that cat and tell him not to take cups of water up to my sons room and tip it on my mac.
I am annoyed with him for not taking responsibility for what he has done. He still doesn't have a job.
I am supposed to be calm and have no stress in my life.....yeh right!!
I am working today and will contact my insurance company on Monday to see if I can get it replaced.
I haven't had the mac very long.
Appart from that, I am feeling very well, I have stopped the no yeast, my weigt has gone down to 8st 13lb and I know my oncologist will blame the illness....its not the illness it is the diets I put myself on no sugar, no yeast, no alchohol, no dairy, it makes a bigf difference to the meal.
I am going to wait for Dr Callebout's reccomendations for diet as there are products that will add weight.
I am sill seriously thinking about Chemoembolization

( )

and will look into it more when I off work next week.

Thursday, 17 April 2008

Funny turn at the clinic

I went to the appointment to have my eyebrows tatooed , Theresa (the therapist) was working on them and I told her about the Mistletoe therapy but forgot one important thing....when there is an invasion to the body, the immune system shuts everything down and goes on the attack. What this means is that anything undigested, like breakfast, is thrown out.
I could feel the nausea coming on and when Theresa had finished, she said "are you ok?" I asked for the toilet and off I went.
When I came out she gave me some peppermints and asked if there is anyone she could call....I said I was ok and left the clinic, I managed to walk back to my car....I just felt so wobbly.
I sat in the car thinking about what to do. I didn't want to leave my car and involve someone else with my problems. I know its silly but I hate putting anyone out.
I sat in there for about 20 minutes until it had passed and then went to the shop to change my sons train as it was not working....DOH!!!! we hadn't put the engine on the tracks.
I got my wheels for the dishwasher basket as my old ones have disintegrated and bought myself a couple of cardigans in another shop near by.
By then I had had enough and made my way home......phew!!
One thing seems certain...the Mistletoe is doing it stuff....back to work tomorrow for 3 days and Kieran is back to school on Tuesday so hopefully we can start to get the house sorted. It is at times like this I regret not having a partner I can turn to.

Robert Clark 1961 -2003

Just a short note to remember my dear cousin, Robert, who died 5 years ago today...
Miss you and love you,

Debbie x x

Cosmos result!

Cosmos have at last replied to my complaint about the Lapland holiday. At first they sent me a voucher to use (£200) to use towards a holiday.
I pointed out my situation to them (my illness and how it is impossible to plan for Christmas as I am not sure what the future holds although I do intend to be here) and declined the offer.
I sent an email to their customer support as instructed and over a month later a cheque arrived.
The cheque was for £200 and was more or less an acknowledgement that they were wrong.
I am happy with that as I just wanted them to see the facts and to be aware and make sure that every family is catered for with this dream holiday.

I injected the Mistletoe on Tueday eveing, 10mg, and yesterday developed a mild headache and the nausea again. So, I must be doing it right...I felt so sleepy yesterday and took a knap ater coming back from the city centre with my little son. He wanted a Virgin train model as he loves trains. I got it home, and Rich tried to fix it up, then Siobhan and her boyfriend had a go wouldn't work. Kieran won't let me take it back as he loves it and was happy just pushing it along and making announcements of the next train at his station.

Last night I went out with some friends from work to a comedy night on the Barbican. It was a good night. I didn't drink at all....been doing very wel with that as I do like the odd beer after work. I also got an idea from the comic as he was talking about talking books. I am not going to say about the situation he was in with the books as it is too early for all that : )
That gave me the idea to get some talking books and when I have to have my quiet time in the eveing (Dr Callebout's instructions - TV off at 7-8pm) I can put on a talking book for a bit and wind down.

Eyebrows and Chemo embolization

I am having my third treatment to tattoo on my eyebrows today. There has been so much going on and I had to cancel my last appointment as I was going to Park Attwood.
Theresa (the therapist is lovely and explains everything so well. I lost my eyebrows due to Alopecia and not through an treatments as I have never had Chemo. I am seriously thinking of the German option concerning Theo (my tumour) as there is a treatment there called Chemo Embilization which will attack the tumour and nothing else.
More information is in the link below.

Please email me for more details about the clinic in Germany.

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

Blood test day

I was all ready to go for the blood test this morning and got to my car and there it was......a puncture.
I had 15 minutes to get to the much for no stress!
I called the surgery to say I may be late and I was put on hold. I got the tyre pumped up and made it to the surgery where a lady had had a turn and was taken to hospital which made my appointment later. I really hope the lady is ok.
I then went to a garage and got the tyre changed and booked my MOT.
I have been very light headed and nauseus today. I have so much to do to get the house straight as I want to put it up for sale.
I am going to rest today and see how I feel tomorrow.

Mandy Kaminskas

Another victim of secondary asbestos exposure has come to light . Mandy Kaminskas is 47 years old and inhaled the dust from her fathers clothes.
I am hoping to get in touch with her and give her the information I have.
I really hope it helps her.

More info is in the link.

Monday, 14 April 2008

3 days off....yippee

I have got 3 days off now and first thing is go to my surgery to get a blood test done and then to the post office and send it to Dorset labs.

I would have written more but my lovely friend Julie won't log off of MSN and keeps sneaking up on me.
I love you make me smile xx

Sunday, 13 April 2008

Thanks Theo

Theo (my tumour) has been doing very well. He hasn't been playing up at all....he may even keep his job!
Work has been good and my friends and team players make it all worth while.
One more day to go and then I have 3 days off.
I will get my blood test done on Tuesday and send off the urine and blood sample to the Dorset lab.

Saturday, 12 April 2008

Congratulations Dawn

Well done Dawn who's tumour has shrunk a little. I hope it keeps shrinking and she responds well to her treatment.
She has her own Website:

Dawn was featured on the channel 4 programme "The Mummy Diaries" which was a wonderful series. It followed 5 women, all with terminal illness, unfortunatley, 3 ladies passed away, 1 was given the all clear and that left Dawn.

Dawn is having Chemoembolization where the Chemo is injected straight into the tumour. This doesn't affect any of the cells in the body. The treatment is done in Germany and Dr Callebout did mention the Professor (Professor Vogel) and said I should think about it.
This is something I am seriously thinking of doing.
I have felt very good at work today and it was good to see all my friends.

Good luck Dawn, I hope it keeps responding.

Work today till Monday

I am back to work today, I have a new team which is next to my old team. I was sorry to leave the team I was on a few weeks ago but, the hours didn't suit me.
Ornge management have been so suportive, I have changed back to my 3 on 3 off hours and reduced the daily hours so I now start at 10:00am.
Without there support this would have been so much more difficult.
My new team are wonderful and I am still with my colleagues who have been with me since I found out about my Mesothelioma.
I am feeling on top of the world at the moment and I hope this feeling doesn't go away. I am sure it is all down to my break in Park Attwood which I intend to return to.
I released a lot of emotional baggage there and have found that I can now talk about my illness without bursting into tears right away.
Park Attwood is a charitable organisation. There are so many wonderful people there.

Just a short note to say that I have a new PA!!!
Rory Oneill, editor of hazards mag has agreed to take the post (if there was one) as he is always promoting what I am doing to raise awareness of asbestos, mesothelioma and related illnesses.
If I did have the post open, Rory would get the job.
Thanks Rory

Friday, 11 April 2008

Still no fever

I am concerned that I may not have done the injection properly as I have not experienced anything to show I have had a fever. Usually I get a shiver, headache and a slight chilly feeling. but there has been nothing apart from the temprature going down a degree. I injected 40mg (twice as much as the last time) of Mistletoe, the sites of the injection gave me the itching but no fever. I will speak to Dr Maria this afternoon and find out why I have had no symptoms.
Surely my body hasn't got used to the Misteltoe already?
I will post the answer later today.

I spoke to Dr Maria and all is well. The fever does stop so I did do all correctly....phew!!
I had nausea and felt very sleepy which is normal for Mistletoe.
I have to inject again on Tuesday, 10mg. and 20mg the Tuesday after.
I must say that I do feel very well, I have had 3 very restful days at home, I haven't done very much at all. A lot of that is to do with the schools being closed for the hols as I find it difficult to tidy up around my little one. Lazy days are over, I am back to work tomorrow, Starting at 10:00am and finishing at 8:00pm.

Cosmos update

As many of you will know, I went to Lapland for a holiday in December (It is detailed in the Holiday Blogs section) as it was going to be a break that would create memories for my children.
The holiday turned out to be so disappointing as my youngest son had missed Santa's village and the experience of the Cosmos reps was not good.
I rang them this morning as I sent an email as instructed to them on 1st March and have had no response.
Apparently, there will be a compensation cheque in the post. I do not know how much it is but whatever the total, it will be an admission that they got it wrong. (The whole holiday cost me nearly £3,000) I am still determined not to use Cosmos again as the whole holiday was like a cattle market. Get here this time, leave that time....I want to relax not be on a stressful schedule. Next holiday will be self catering and our own excursions!!!

Thursday, 10 April 2008


The Website was officially launched on 10th April 2007 and has been going well for a year.
Without the support of the many people who log on to the site, it wouldn't have been successful.

Thankyou to Heather, Alan, Pat (and Tony) Suzanne and many others who have all made this a success. They have also given me so much support and information about Mesothelioma and cancer in general but most of all, they have given me friendship.

I know that they have felt supported also and have gained from information and we have built up a very good community and also found some new and very devoted friends.

Well done to all of should be proud.
Heres to the next year being as successful.
I didn't have a fever yesterday, I am concerned as I am sure I did the injection properly. I will see if there are any symptoms today. My temprature has been down 1 degree, it was 35.8 but did come back up again to the normal 36.8.
I really could do with a cancer buddy as I find this so difficult at times. When I say cancer buddy, I mean someone I can rely on and turn to for support and help with the house move and such like. My children are great but there is only so much I will let them do.
If there is anything you would like to know about cancer rights or any thing to do with cancer then log on to this inspirational site.
Karen has Non Hodgkins Lymphoma and inspired me to have my own website. As the birth of the site is being celebrated today, I felt it only fair to include Karen's wonderful site while she is dealing with her very painful illness.
Thanks Karen for the idea and for your supportive information.

Wednesday, 9 April 2008

Good morning

Rich is at his friends, Siobhan has gone to college and I am at home with my little bean, Kieran.
I took the mistletoe last night, it is 9:32 am and all is well at the moment.
I will take my temprature and hopefully will get a fever today.
I want to have one just to prove I am not messing up the jabs.
It is such a big thing to learn to do as last night was a bit of a mess.
I was worried about air bubbles in the medication and hoping I could inject it properly.
I will ring the company that supplies the mistletoe and place an order. I didn't realise just how much I would have to do when I started this journey but I am determined to tackle it head on and not give up.

Tuesday, 8 April 2008

Double the mistletoe tonight

I contacted the Park Attwood clinic today and spoke to Dr Maria. I will double the dose of Mistletoe tonight and will have a fever tomorrow.
The specimin jars for the blood and urine samples came through for Dr Callebout.
I will ring my surgery to get the tests done and send it back to the laboratory.
I didn't expect the hefty price and feel so bad for people who cannot afford this service or do not have insurance as the sample tests have been very expensive.
As soon as they are done, I won't have that cost to worry about.

I returned to work today and am back on my 3 on 3 off shift. I have to say that the support from team mates, managers and friends has been second to none. Without this support it would have been difficult to cope balancing the illness and work.

I have felt really good again today, I feel I could run a marathon but I know I would flake out after 5 seconds!! It is such a good feeling though, removing the emotional baggage has been a real bonus. Park Attwood should be on the NHS!!!

Back to work

I am returning to work today after having 2 weeks off sick for the Mistletoe therapy and the meeting with Dr Callebout.
I will phone Park Attwood todayto find out where I go from here with the injections.
I have a telephone consultation at 10:30am and this time I will remember to ring them !

Monday, 7 April 2008

Times 2 Feature

The feature by Barbara Lantin was featured in the Times supplement Times 2 today. It was about the aftermath of Mesothelioma when the police visit as Mesothelioma is concidered an unatural death.

Ginny Fraser

I wanted to include Ginny as she has been a survivor of cancer for 6 years and puts it down to the alternative therapy. She went to see Dr Callebout and has been cancer free for 6 years.
She truly is inspirational.
To read more about Ginny and the cancer she had click on the link below.

The cat is back!

I had a phone call this afternoon. My ca, Shadow, had turned up. He had been lodging in houses about 5 mins from where we live.

He had been found sleeping on someones bed and was chucked out and then found a young family to reside with who made the call.

Tonight the cat flap will be locked and we will try, and I use the word loosely, try and train him.......yeh right!!

Sunday, 6 April 2008

Asbestos curtain takes a life.

Suzanne sent me a link which details Gloria Dawson, a Theatre worker, who was exposed to asbestos through a fire curtain in a Theatre in Reading. This is a terrible thing has once again claimed the life of another innocent. When will it stop?
It is such a waste of life.

I have had a fever today which reached 38.5 at the highest, The head ache was not as bad as the last one. I slept most of the day on the sofa.
The cat is still out. I think he has found another home to go to.

Second jab done

I administered my second dose of Mistletoe last nght. I must admit it is getting easier to do. It is something I really didn't want to do but with determination and my deep seated stubborness, I have succeeded.

Shadow, our new cat has dissappeared, we are all hoping he will be back later today. Raffles, the main cat in the street, may have bullied him and he hasn't come back home yet. Raffles was in our garden this morning. The tag details have been changed so hopefully someone will bring him back or let us know where he is. Kieran was upset and Rich went out to look for him, he couldn't see him anywhere. I am trying not to stress myself about it. I do hope he arrives home soon though. He is a night cat and sleeps all day. We may have to try and keep him in at night, no matter how much he protests.

Saturday, 5 April 2008

The wanderer returns

Siobhan and I have returned from London and my meeting with Dr Callebout.

On Thursday we were met by a photographer in London from the Times as there will be an article in the Times 2 published on Monday concerning Mesothelioma.

Dr Etienne Callebout

On Friday we made our way to Harley Street and Met Dr Callebout, he was late and apparrently this is normal. We were met by the Dr who showed us into his room and directed us to some chairs. He asked me to talk about the illness and when I first recalled having the symptoms. I told him it was 1994 when the scarring showed up on the lungs and 1996 when I was hospitalised for a suspected blood clot on the lungs which turned out to be the fluid again.
I told him that I asked for an x-ray in 2006 as I fitted the criteria for Meso. I think it may be to do with my determination to find a solution to the cancer and to stick with it.
Dr Callebout took a small amount of blood from my finger and analysed it under a microscope, I could see the cells on the screen with some little wriggly ones in between. He asked what I had for breakfast, not sure why, maybe the sugar from the cereal bar. Another thing mentioned was taking iron supplements. I am going to stop my immune defence tablets as they contain iron.
I went to another clinic around the corner to get the blood test done and when Dr Callebout has the results he will be in touch with a regime. Another thing is the T.V, it needs to be switched off between 7-8pm, to my suprise, my autistic son has taken this rule and enforced it. Well done Kieran.
After seeing Dr Callebout, I met up with my cousin, Justine, who I haven't seen for a while. It was good to see her.
I will wait and see what the blood test shows up and hopefully get an insight into what I need to do to amend the cancer.

Wednesday, 2 April 2008

I did it

I have just done the dirty deed, The injection. It was nerve wracking and I am not sure if I got it right but I did it.....phew!
Now i have to gear up for Saturday's jab, that will be a bigger amount and I will have a fever on Sunday. I have told Siobhan and Rich that they will need to be on hand. Hopefully the migraine won't be as bad. I am off to bed now and will be up bright and early ready to travel.

Blissful day

Today has been wonderful. I have felt so contented and happy today. It is like I have released something within me. I had a phone consultation with Dr Maria at 11:30am. I stupidly forgot that I was supposed to phone her and sat by my phone like a lemon.
Dr Maria is so busy and I felt terrible, she forgave me though.
I have to do my first injection this evening. I am a little apprehensive about it as it is all down to me and if I get it wrong I am the one who suffers.
I am prepared though and hopefully will continue to get braver with this. I am going to take 5mg as I am travelling tomorrow and she doesn't want me to have too much of a fever although there will be one.

I had lunch with 2 of my good friends, Julie and Helen who are part of the breakfast bunch. They are such great company.
I have to pack my bag later as we will be leaving at 10:00am. My daughter and I are going to take a little trip to Camden market, it will be a good oppurtunity to have some quality time together. We are staying in a hotel while we are in London as Dr Callebout's office is situated in Harley Street.

Good Morning

My new little lodger woke me up at 7:30am this morning. He wanted his food he has a unique way of eating it. He spits out what he doesn't like and has a complete mess around his dish. He stayed on my bed all night last night which was lovely. He has made such a difference to our home. He has filled a gap that was so empty.

He does have a strange quirk though, He likes to play in a bath with water. Apparently, he is facinated by it. I discovered this first when I had him on Monday morning. I was running a bath for Kieran and he jumped in it and started walking around. It was so lovely. I told his owner about this and she said he enjoys water and loves the rain.

I can see we are going to have some fun with him !

Tuesday, 1 April 2008

End of a wonderful day

I feel elated at the moment. I have found out that my company have agreed to change my hours back and that I am on another team but sat very near my old team. I will be sorry to lose the new team as they are brilliant but I know I will still see them.
I have my children, my sister, my new cat, Shadow, my wonderful friends old and new and most of all, I have got some hope with the Mistletoe.
I want to feel this blessed every day.
Thank you what ever spirit, angel or My dad, my cousin Robert, my grandfather, my 4 beautiful cats who are looking down on me and giving me this, I am so grateful. I will cherish this day forever.

Panic this morning

I have had a little tightness with my breathing for 2 days and I felt very light headed which is a symptom of the Mistletoe. I felt as if it was Asthma but was frightened due to the illness. I rang my surgery to see if a doctor could come out. I spoke to my Dr who said to come up right away and he would see me. Luckily enough my daughters boyfriend was here and he took me to the surgery with my daughter, Siobhan. My son Richard stayed home and took care of Kieran who had been unwell yesterday and I have kept him home. We saw my GP, who is wonderful, and said he didn't know much about Mistletoe and didn't know what was causing it, the Mistletoe or Asthma. He gave me some Asthma medication and told me to contact him again with any worries.
While in the chemist my daughter, Siobhan made me smile. She was trying on the reading glasses on the stand in the store and she looked at herself in the very small mirror and said "I can't see anything but at least I look good". I am so glad I have my children.
On another note...Shadow, our new cat, Has settled in well. He stayed all night and listens to every creek and bang as I am sure he thinks it is the bully cat coming to get him.

Pat gave me an article about Dendritic Therapy which is most intersting. I am adding a link rather than explain it all.