Monday, 31 March 2008

Good news day

When I arrived home from Park Attwood yesterday, the children greeted me with a new lodger. A cat had stayed overnight in the house and was looking as though he was staying again. He was very hungry as he hadn't eaten all day so we got him some food and he stayed last night as well.
Luckily enough, he was chipped, My son Kieran and I took him to the vets to get the owners details. We took him to his owner who had been worried about him.
She thanked us and saw how "Godzilla" (my son Richard had named him after his favourite B movie monster) didn't want to come out of the cat box. She had another cat who bullied him and she felt that is why he was leaving home. She explained that Shadow, thats the cats real name, had been attacked by a group of supposed human beings and was slashed on his kitten face with a stanley knife when he was young and that is how he came to her. She said she couldn,t see his face. He is now 2 1/2 years old and still nervous. She then asked Kieran if he would like to keep him, Kieran's face was a picture. He , of course, said yes after confirming it was ok with me first. As if I was going to argue. I made sure that this was what she wanted to do and we took him home. His name is Shadow and he is so beautiful. He has made such a difference to this house, he has filled a gap that was so empty after losing my 2 beautiful cats and I am sure they won't mind. In my heart I feel it is my dad, he loved cats and I did say to my daughter last week how I really wanted another cat and we didn'tknow how long it would take to move. I said "I couldn't stand it", so we were meant to have one. If it is you dad, Thank you so much....I love you x x x

I told my 2 older children, Siobhan and Richard, last night about getting to stage 3 with the cancer. That was hard to do but I also told them that I am not giving up. I am so proud of them both as it must be terribly hard for them.

Sunday, 30 March 2008

Park Attwood

I arrived home from Park Attwood clinic which was wonderful and I will be updating the website with all the details over the next week.
I will be seeing Dr Callebout on Friday and will update the diary when I return.

I met Pat who picked my sister, Wendy, and I up from Park Attwood and entertained us until our car arrived, a bit later than scheduled but never the less he arrived. I am full of admiration for Pat as she has to deal with a lot of things as she has lost her beloved Tony to Mesothelioma. Pat is wonderful, she is so inspirational and supportive to me. She gave me a lot of advice and some supplements. I want to thank Pat through the blog for the immense loyalty she shows to everyone. She made my Sister and I feel so welcome. Thank you Pat andI hope we stay friends for a very long time.

Sunday, 23 March 2008

Happy Easter......Where's my eggs???

I went to Mutley Baptist church this morning with my son Kieran. We watched 4 baptisms which was very interesting and listened as all who took part enjoyed the service. It was very good although Kieran did let out a loud sigh as the congregation sang their last hymn. I went with my friend and her family. (link to church below)

We got there half an hour too early which made the morning longer for Kieran but he did very well and was very patient.
Afterwards we came home and he put his trainz simulator on the laptop while I made lunch.

We then went to another friends house as she had arranged a surprise party for her son.
Kieran got yet another Easter egg.....lost count how many now! Where are mine??? : )
My friend gave me a beautiful picture she made of Kieran and I at the donkey sanctuary last week so I could take it with me on my trip to Park Attwood clinic tomorrow. It was really sweet of her to do that and I must admit, I did get a little emotional. Thanks Julie, I will treasure it.

Saturday, 22 March 2008

Letter to my dad

Dear Dad
I have just been watching a programme called "50 greatest families" and the Royle family was shown. The episode showed Denise and her Dad in the bathroom while she is in labour and she said 4 little words that made me crumble......"Dad, I'm so scared".
Tears started flowing as I watched and thoughts of me talking to you and knowing how loving you were and how you would have given one of your wonderful hugs and very sensible advice came into my head.....I miss you dad and sometimes....I wish you were here just to talk to and tell you just how much you mean to me. I know if I talked to you and told you my feelings from the heart, you would be there beside me, supporting me through this nightmare. I feel you are with me every day.It would be good just to have one more chance to talk to you and to let you know just how much you meant to me. unfortunatley, that isn't going to happen, so I will hold you in my heart forever and where ever I go I know you will go with me.

I love you and miss you so much.
Your daughter,
x x Debra x x

Church tomorrow

A good friend of mine has asked me if I would like to go to the Easter service at her local church. I have said yes and have pointed out that I am not religious but do I like the commerative services. I am taking my little boy with me as he has been learning about the Easter story in school and will recognise it.
Today has been really good, firstly, we wnet ot see my sister to pick up Easter eggs for him, his sister and brother, then to the travel agents.
(I was booking my hotel stay for next week) ..... Thanks once again Jim and Sandra....... and then out to lunch where Kieran sat at the window and looked at buses while telling me about the episode of Storm Hawks (childrens cartoon) that was currently in his head!
He is facinating as he remembers the whole script!! I asked him if he could see a TV screen in his head and was it playing the episode? He said yes and he recited the whole thing.....Amazing little boy.
We then went to see his friend and pick up more Easter eggs.....He will be a chocolate bean at this rate!!! We came home to find the garden was getting ready to be renovated. Rich was home and Siobhan is out for the weekend. Tomorrow will be parties and packing and off to Park Attwood on Monday.

On our own

My little bean and I will be out and about today. We are going to visit my sister and give her Easter gifts for the family. We are also going to have lunch in a lovely place in the city centre called "Hobbs coffee shop".
He likes it there as he can watch buses go by as he eats. They have huge windows to look out of and he would , quite happily, sit there all day! At least it gives me a chance to get away from .....SPONGE BOB!!!
I am busy arranging the trip to Worcestershire on Monday. I am looking forward to spending some quality time out. Park attwood looks wonderful. I will take some pictures and hopefully, be able to update daily.

Friday, 21 March 2008

Well done John and Christine

Congratulations to John and Christine Sach's Who attended a charity auction which raised £28,800 for funding McMillan nurses. That is a fantastic sum of money. The evening was a black tie event, I hope they feel proud of themselves and all who are involved as they have done very well. 
 I cannot find a link but I am going to add the script from the newspaper article to the blog.
Anyone who would like to see it, I can forward it to you.

"Inspired by the work of the heart of Kent Hospice, bidders at a charity auction pledged the most money, not for glittering prizes,but to fund MacMillan nurses.
The hospices black tie spring ball, at Turkey Mill, Maidstone, Last Friday, raised £28,800.
While bidding reached upwards of £250 per lot, the best supported item was one in which the guests were invited to donate towards the cost of MacMillan nursing.
It costs about £150 per day to fund the work of one MacMillan nurse. Auction bidders paid for 41 days. The hospice has a team of 6 MacMillan nurses and a manager who provide care for patients and their carers at the hospice and at patients home.
Jennie Hubbard, the hospice's director of fund raising and marketing said "we are overwhelmed with everyones generosity".

The picture with the article features John and Christine Sachs with Nicholas and Stella Roy and 

Good Friday and back to work

Well.... I hope it is a good Friday. I am feeling much better today as I spent most of the day sleeping and generally resting. I think that the nausea may be to do with what I am eating. I am going to go back to my sugar free, alcohol free diet as I didn't feel this ill when I was doing it. I don't care if I lose a little weight as I am over my BMI which should be 8st 7lbs and I am over 9 st, 9st 6lbs to be exact..
I will be sensible though and I do have a fairly good appetite.
I am going back to work today and will then have 2 weeks off for treatment, My GP has written me a sick note for the 2 weeks. He has been so supportive. I am grateful for having such wonderful professionals around me. I will miss my children but I think they will understand why I have to do this.
I am looking forward to it and hope my sister is ready for relaxing and doing nothing for a whole week!

Thursday, 20 March 2008

Not too good

I didn't go into work today as I have been tired and nauseous. I will go back to work tomorrow and then arrange traveling for my sister and I to go to Park Attwood clinic. I have heard such wonderful things about it and I am sure I will come back a different person. I am not expecting miracles but if it makes me feel more positive then, it has to be good. I will try and add info to the blog and will find out if they have Wi Fi.
My GP and Oncologist have been wonderful and very supportive of the treatments I want to try. that makes it so much easier to deal with.
I will be back on top tomorrow and will go to work, I am not working the weekend so will fill it with packing and spending time with my children who I will miss so much. My daughter will be taking care of Kieran, my little son and he will also be with his daddy. I am sure he will have a great time without the nagging mother around : )

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

Easter egg hunt

The picture above is of my son, Kieran and myself at his school easter egg hunt.
 The weather was beautiful and the children thoroughly enjoyed themselves. We had a lot of parents this year that volunteered their day to giving the children the experience of an egg hunt and it was such an honour to be able to put a little back into the immense support we have had from the school.
Park Attwood

Park attwood clinic called (Mistletoe therapy) and arranged an appointment for Monday 25th March!
I was quite surprised how soon it is. I am busy arranging the family so I can go to the clinic as I will be there for 5-7 days.
My sister will hopefully coming with me and the week after I will see Dr Callebout. 
I really hope I see a result, I know Theo won't go away but maybe the treatment and diet will slow him down. Theo has been really noisy the last week and this seems to be disappearing now and has turned into a very mild ache. The breathlessness hasn't left yet, I am still doing everything as normal. I had to let down a wonderful friend who had been nagging a lot of people to go out for an evening. His face was stunned when I told him i couldn't go as I would be in Worcestershire. I felt so bad about it but I hope they go out any way. I have some really amazing friends. Don't ever change, you are wonderful, you know who you are.
Only time will tell.

Tuesday, 18 March 2008

Weepy few days

I have been terribly weepy over the past few days. It started when I got the pain in my back and I think it is because I am so frightened at the moment. The pain has subsided today and I hope it continue to go.
I have been feeling so sorry for myself, I think I have bored my friends rigid.
My son has an Easter egg hunt tomorrow at his school and that will make me a little more positive.
I do try and tell myself how lucky I am as this time last year I didn't think I would have this Easter with him. I should feel grateful but I find it so difficult as I should be looking forward to many more Easters with him.
I will add some pictures tomorrow of the Easter fun my son has.

On a more political note, Gordon Brown is considering more help for people with Plueral plaque.
I have added a link below with more info.

Monday, 17 March 2008

Contact from Dr Callebout

I have heard from Dr Callebout, I am going for an appointment with him on 4th April. I am so pleased that I have an appointment and will look forward to meeting him and starting my very strict diet.

Breakfast bunch

We all got together for breakfast. We always have a giggle and today was no acception.
We talked about the Anne Summers evening and, as you can imagine, the conversation took a different avenue than usual.
My friends are so wonderful and I look forward to the next installment!

Saturday, 15 March 2008

Meal and chat

I went out to eat with my sister this evening. We had a lovely evening and ended it with a game of bingo on a machine in one of the slot machine rooms.
This is not something I usually do but I did enjoy it.
The meal was very nice, I have had a call from Dr Callebouts secretary and hope I will be seeing him soon. She left a message on my answerphone and will call back Monday. I am really hoping it is an appointment and, talking of the meal we had, I am sure I will have a very strict diet and will have to re-think what I have.

It is a small price to pay...what have I got to lose.

Donkey sanctuary

It was raining this morning and my little son was not looking forward to going out. He changed his mind when we were at the donkey sanctuary.

He enjoyed himself with his friends. Helen and I met up with Julie and her children and the children all enjoyed seeing each other again as Julie's son is at a different school.
Kieran, my son, head a donkey ride and enjoyed petting the donkey's. I think the donkey's enjoyed it to. I am pictured with Kieran and one of the donkeys
We all went to lunch and it was manic, 5 children and 4 adults!
The patrons of the pub will certainly remember us as the children were very excited!!!
We left there and came home, I am out this evening with my sister, we are having some time out. It has been a good day today. I thoroughly enjoyed it, having good company helps.

Friday, 14 March 2008

Reiki then lunch

I enjoyed my Reiki session and did turn my phone off!!!
Helen and I went out for lunch afterwards. We were a little early and ended up waiting outside the pub for 10 mins as it was not open until 12:00pm. The Reiki had made me so relaxed I felt like curling up like a cat and going to sleep.
We had a lovely meal and chilled out just chatting about our daily lives.
I went back home for a little and then went to see my little boy at his school for the good work assembly.
Kieran will be staying with his daddy tonight and tomorrow we are off to the donkey sanctuary with Helen and her children. There is a bring and buy there also. I have added a link to their site.

Hopefully it won't rain too much....where is the sunshine???

Good morning

I had a really good nights sleep last night. I took pain killers that the GP gave me and that seemed to calm Theo down. He is quiet this morning. I think I relieved myself of a lot of stress yesterday as tears were flowing fast and furiousy. I am going to leave going into work today, give myself a bit of space and go back on Monday.
My little boy went off to school and I will see him at his good work assembly this afternoon. He has been so proud of his top table award last week, especially as his daddy and myself were there to see him get it.
I will be meeting up with Helen soon for our healing session. I am looking forward to relaxing and chilling, with the phone off this time!

Thursday, 13 March 2008

Evening antics

I went out to eat with my daughter and her boyfriend and chilled for a bit. I was discussing with her another add on in the web site. A features page which would include experts and friends detailing their involvement with Mesothelioma. I want to ask someone once a month to be the special guest to write their comments on how they feel and what they do.
I also want to add a tribute wall which will contain Mesothelioma sufferers past and present as I think we can all learn a lot from each other.

I have just returned from an Anne Summer's party with friends. rude they all's terrible what they talk about.....not was really good fun and I think Theo enjoyed it too being the only male there. (There are no pictures for obvious reasons!!!) He seemed to calm down a little but on the way home, could be the cold, damp air, he returned. I will be giving him some knock out drops tonight and hope he starts to behave.
I won a prize at the Anne Summers evening, edible pants and they are out of date....typical!

Reiki session tomorrow with Jenny, I want to ask Jenny to be one of the first to write an article on my new features page and she can explain Reiki and what is acheived from it. to bed now and hopefully, a good night.

No work today

I was all ready to go to work today when the tears started flowing. I have still got Theo banging away inside (Theo is my tumour) and got a little frightened this morning as I got breathless going up my steps towards my car. All silly idiot thoughts started to go through my head like, what if this is it? How will the children cope? and the biggy I don't want to die!
I called a couple of friends as I was in a panic and got myself around to my sister who gave me a massive hug.
I made an appointment at the GP's and waited to be called. I told him about the pain and how I was trying to ignore it but I couldn't today. He listened to my lungs and said they sound clear. That was good to hear, He gave me some pain killers for evenings as that is when it is at it's worst and assured me that if I needed to contact him again I could. I didn't see my GP as he was away but this one was very empathetic of my situation.
I then went into work to let my manager know what was happening and went down to sit with my old team (Even more hugs!) They are brilliant, I felt like I needed a kick up the backside to get me out of this hole.
I may go to work tomorrow or leave it now until Monday. I am finding it quite hard to deal with this and trying to get the house ready so we can move and also being a single parent for the first time. It is so hard and so very lonely. I am going to contact my Mc Millan nurse and have a chat. I am sure I will think differently tomorrow, I have a Reiki session and this time I am going to switch my phone off!!!!

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

Theo is here

Theo made himself known again. Since last night, I have had a mild pain in the shoulder/back and a little pain when breathing in to cough, the pain is in the usual place.
Not sure if it is a bit of fluid built up as I have had a bit of a mucky cough. I have not had any cold symptoms but the pain is very much like the pain I had before.
It isn't so bad though as I can still go to work. I know if it gets too much I can come home.
If I find it getting worse I will see my GP.
Theo hasn't been like this for over a year.
I hope he is just reminding me he is still there.
I will be calling Park Attwood today and that should be interesting. (link below)

I feel really well in myself and will listen to my body and do what it tells a point!!!

I am back from work and made a bit of an idiot of myself. I had a customer who just wouldn't listen and talked down to me the whole time, like I didn't know my job. I cracked after putting him on hold, My new team were supportive but I feel such an idiot. I rang Park Attwood and have been told that it will be a 5 - 7 day stay at the clinic and my auto-immune diseases (Alopecia- hair loss- and Hyperthyroidism-under active thyroid) may cause a problem. I will find out more when I go.
I have to get my GP and oncologist to send reports to the Dr there and then it could be arranged.
I really want to go and see if the treatment will suit me. What have I got to lose?
I came home and my son had the music chanels on. Kerrang showed 2 of my favourite bands. Foo Fighters and Muse, I watched their videos and that cheered me up. Seeing my children and having hugs made it even better.
I am so glad I was blessed with my children as they are wonderful. They keep me on track.

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

Breakfast club again!!

I went out this morning and met up with my friends at the cafe for our newly formed breakfast club.
It was wonderful to sit and chat and have a giggle with my friends.
I have had contact from the Park attwood clinic that provides the Mistletoe treatment and will be having a free consultation over the phone tomorrow morning.
Hopefully, this will lead to an appointment with the clinic.
I will add a blog tomorow with the result of the call.
It has been quite tiring at work today as I didn't get to sleep until late. My little son managed to take over my bed last night.He came into mine because his much older brother was breaking wind and keeping him awake so, this morning, I returned the favour and woke his older brother up when we got up.
Tonight it will be the older onje waiting for the younger one to sleep.
I love my family.

Monday, 10 March 2008

News at last

I have at last heard from Dr Callebout's office.

I left between 4 and 6 voice messages as I have not heard about the referral.
I contacted Derrifird hospital as I had heard nothing f4rom them either. Apparently, the address the oncologist sent the refferal to was the old address. That has now hopefully been amended and I will hear very soon about an appointment.
I will be going to the next breakfast club meeting tomorrow morning and it is wonderful. it has allowed me to keep in touch with friends that I thought I would lose touch with because I have changed my hours.
Thanks Julie, this was such a great idea, I will see if I can persuade my wonderful friends to have a picture taken for the website.

Sunday, 9 March 2008

Catch up

Out of respect for Michel and Tony, I didn't add any diary entries as the blogs were about them and not me.
My Friday morning was so busy. I went in to get some new trendy galsses from spec savers as I know I should go there!
I rushed into the city centre as I had a reiki session at 10:00am.
I got there around 9:20am only to be told that the glasses were not in yet. They will be available on the 11th...gggrrrr ....I was so cross as I could have saved myself the journey if they had called.
The second incident was that I picked my friend,Helen, up from outside my house and we made our way to Derriford Hospital where the sessions are.
I was safe in the knowledge that my son could make his own way to a job interveiw without bothering me.....Wrong!
I was 10 minutes into my reiki session with thoughts dissappearing from my mind and a little voice saying "you should have swirched your phone off" happened, first the text and then the call. He had missed the bus, and could I take him.
Being mum, I got off the relaxation bed and apologised to Jenny, the therapist, and asked her to let Helen know I would be back and raced off to take my son for his interveiw at Orange.
We got there although he was a little late.
At least I had 10 minutes I suppose and I am glad that he made the effort to let me know rather than lie and not go.
Well....hopefully, there will be a session next week, if I can get the time off.
After picking up Helen, we went for lunch with Julie and talked about all the woes in our lives.
I then went to my little son's school and watched as He was awarded the top dinner table reward.
His table won for being polite and helpful. I was so proud of him. I took him and his daddy back to his daddy's house as he is there for the weekend.
I am so glad I am able to be this it so great and makes me feel alive!!!

Saturday, 8 March 2008

Remembering Tony

Pat and Tony have been very supportive to me with all aspects of Mesothelioma. They have been very loyal since the website started, sending links and giving information about treatments that has been passed on to many others.
Tony has been through such a hard struggle and has battled through all that was thrown at him.
Unfortunatley he was so tired, he passed away yesterday morning. My thoughts and heart felt condolences go out to his family.
Without Pat and Tony, there are so many things I would never have learned. Tony was a very special person who never gave up. His battle will go on within all of us and I am sure I can say that, on behalf of all sufferers going through this, we will carry his memory with us as we fight this injustice.

This is not a knockback. I want Tony's family to know that his life will not be forgotten.

I will light a candle for him this evening and one for Michel and remember them with love and absolute pride.
I am proud to dedicate this blog to Tony.

Friday, 7 March 2008

Michel in Italy

It's a bit of a sombre blog today. I have been speaking to a lady in Italy who had 2 sons.
One of them died of Mesothelioma a few years ago as he worked with asbestos. Her second son, Michel, picked up the fibres through his brothers clothes and contracted it.

Unfortunatley,Michel, her second son, died yesterday.
She is obviously devistated and I will pay her a visit when she comes back to England.
This is so terrible as he had fought so hard to beat this disease.
He didn't lose, he was tired and is now at peace after such a long haul. The battle still continues within everyone who has this. The awareness has to be done i n memory of Michel and all those who have been taken prematurly by Mesothelioma.
My thoughts are with Sue, the lady in Italy and Michel's wife and family. This blog is dedicacted to them today.

Thursday, 6 March 2008

Here's Johnny

Well....what a day off..... I got up this morning and decided it was time the partition in our sitting room came down as I wanted to put it back as a lounge diner.
My son, Richard, found some man tools and tore into it. We had some fun when he picked up the hammer and said "Here's Johnny". He looks more threatening than he is.
Later, after I had gone to lunch with a friend, I came back to finish what we had started. My daughters boyfriend joined in and it is his hand pictured looking menacing as it breaks through the wall.

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

Day off tomorrow

I have got tomorrow ff and will be having lunch with my friend and also look into getting started on the decorating in my house. My son has an interveiw next week for a job.
Hopefuly he will keep this one!
I had a foot massage at my son's school tis morning. Not sure if I would have had time to go there as I start work at 11:00am now but i managed to squeeze in the foot massage and get to work on time.
I have another rieki session on Friday morning which I am looking forward to.
I have been sent som einfo on the Park Attwood clinic and am looking into it. Still no news from Dr Callebout. I am going to ring my oncologist tomorrow to see what the status is.
I read Karen's blog yesterday ( ) and it is so sad that she has to go through so much pain when I don't have any. Dawn is the same ( ) I cnsider myself so lucky not to have the pain, I wish I had a magic wand to reove their pain as they are such inspirational ladies. No one should have to go through it.

Monday, 3 March 2008

Breakfast Club!

I went out for breakfast with 3 of my very good friends today. It is the 2nd time I have done it and it really starts the day well. We meet up in a little caf'e near my work place and have a coffee, breakfast and a chat. After wards , we all go our seperate ways. I went off to work as I start at 11:00am now. I have added a photo and we all look like we had a good time. It is 10:15am and we are all smiles. Thanks Tina, Jules and Helen you are such great tonics.

I look forward to our next breakfast together!

Saturday, 1 March 2008

Is Thalidomide a cure for Mesothelioma?

Heather sent a link to me which I am adding, it is concerning the drug, Thalidomide, which was banned a few years ago as it created deformaties in babies when mothers took it as an anti morning sickness drug. It is now being used to treat Mesothelioma with some really good results.
It is good to see that some resaerch is being done but what all Meso patients want is a cure or something to slow down the growth.
Click on the linkbelow for more information.

Another treatment that has had a good result is Mistletoe injections. This works alongside a very strict vegan diet.
I have added a link below for that as well.

Any more links found will be added to the site and please talk to your oncologist before commiting to any alternative treatments as some may interfere with Conventional treatments.