We returned from Brixham this morning and it is a glorious day. James the DIY guy has removed the kitchen ceiling and is about to put up a new one. Siobhan, Kieran and I decided to go out to Gables farm which is a home for unwanted cats and dogs. We have chosen 2 kittens to live with us as the void of being catless is getting bigger. The Kittens are called Drake and Cookie, they are a little nervous, we will be having a home visit next week and should be able to bring them home soon.
I am off out tonight to see Lee Evans at the Pavilions in Plymouth which should be a good night.
We have had a wonderul week. We went to The living coast on Thursday and to Woodlands theme park on Friday. The internet has been really weak as the signal we had in Brixham was WiFi but was not very strong. That is the reason the diary blog had been neglected. Kieran is back to school next week and I am back to work. It has been quite a good week. The only down side has been entertaining Kieran as the gap between his age and Soiobhan's is quite wide. He would have been better having someone of his age to keep him company.
I am having one of those can't sleep moments. It may be the menopause as I have been having hot flushes for a week or 2 and my period has not arrived this month.
It may also be due to yesterday being my dad's second anniversary.
Siobhan arrived back at the cottage this evening with her boyfriend, Seddon. They are off to Bristol tomorrow to see a band and will be back the early hours of Thursday morning.
I am going to chill out later and enjoy this lovely little place. I feel at home here, it all seems right.
It is so tranquil and beautiful. I am itching to get another Gordon Allen painting, I have one that I bought for £250.oo 14 years ago and it is lovely. He has a very elegant style with his work. His paintings are so peaceful and easy to look at. I lose myself in them.
I will have to find somewhere to put it if I get one and it would be such a shame if there wasn't a little spot for it. I will have to see how I feel the end of the week.
My dad was a great Jim Reeves fan. When my sisters and I were younger, that was all we heard.
There is a radio in the bedroom at the cottage and it is has an alarm on it.
I heard it on and went in the bedroom to switch it off. I stopped and sat on the bed and listened as tears rolled down my face. I heard Jim Reeves singing "I love you because" and felt like my dad was in the room with me.
I am a very big sceptic and don't believe in anything unless I have proof.
This was so weird but it felt like it was a message. This all happened just after I had written my blog.
If it was you dad, thanks, it was just what I needed and I love you so much too..
My father died 2 years ago today and it feels like I am reliving that day again. The pain hasn't gone away. I still miss him so much.
To this day I have always thought that chemotherapy took him from us. It destroyed every cell in his body, good or bad, and brought this wonderful man to his knees. It turned a very young 68 year old into something he never was, a frail old man.
I will light a candle to his memory today and when I get back home, I will visit the cemetery and lay some flowers for him.
Dad, If your listening, I love and I know you are around, I can feel you. I know you are supporting me through this time in my life and you give me the strength to fight back and help others in my situation. Together we will make a difference.
Thinking of you always and never forgetting you.
Debbie x x
When you find my tears in the ocean, I will stop loving you.
Well....it took a while but I managed it. The signal here isn't very strong so we get on the internet when we can. Kieran and I have had a trip out today. Do I need to say where? Totnes train station.... where else??
It wasn't too bad, the weather has stayed dry. It is difficult keeping him entertained as he likes to look at the train delays first thing in the morning and he can't always do that so he gets a little stressed.
Siobhan decided to go home yesterday as it was all getting a little strained.
She will be back tomorrow with Seddon, her boyfriend, and tomorrow is going to be difficult as it will be my dad's second anniversary of his passing.
I am happy to be in Brixham though, it is a peaceful little fishing village in Devon and is so pretty.
Kiearn and I went out to get him a till so he could play shops, he finds it so hard to imagine things, it all has to be so perfect.
We bought some seagul poo for Richard and Kieran's dad (it is chocolate covered raisins really)
I had an email today from a friend of a lady I met in Germany, Erna.
I met Erna in May when I went for my first Chemoemolization treatment in Germany.
We both waited in the ward for the nurse to tell us we could leave the hospital and imagined our water being a cocktail.
There was a picture of the human body on the cup the water was in It was very detailed with intestines and organs clearly marked out. We had to change that and decided that we weren't in a hospital in Germany, we were lying on the hot sand in the Caribbean drinking "sex on the beach". We were both in hospital with very serious illnesses but managed to rise above it. She had a great sense of humour and we hit it off right away.
We had a giggle and it was good to find someone on my wave length.
Unfortunately, Erna passed away on 1st August as she was very ill with Liver cancer.
Her friend emailed me to tell me. This has been heartbreaking as we had become good friends through email and I will miss her.
Todays blogs are dedicated to Erna.
She was and always will be a truely wonderful lady.
Condolences and special thoughts are sent to her family and friends.
I have been catching up on the washing and cleaning as we are away at the weekend. Siobhan, Kieran and I are having a well deserved break in Brixham.
I did my Mistletoe jab last night and feel very well today. We had a new lodger last night, Raffles, my neighbours cat.
He is a beautiful cat, he stayed with us all night and is becoming to comfortable.
I have told Kieran and Siobhan they can have a kitten each when we come back from Brixham.
We did have a cat, Shadow, but he has not returned from his travels. Our other cats have died and we have a massive void where they used to be.
Kieran went to holiday club today. He started making himself sick again because he didn't want to go. He said he was sick on Wednesday morning but managed to do all the things he would normally do and eat pizza for tea (pizza hut, his favourite) There is method in my madness, he wasn't ill all day.
He admitted he made himself sick on purpose. I don't want him making himself ill and managed to get him to tell me that he didn't want to go as he thought one of the excursions was to a place he had been to 8 times.
He went off to the holiday club this morning and was happy to do so.
I am working tomorrow and then off until September. It will be a lovely break and it looks like the weather is changing, I hope it is for the good!
I did the 40 mg of mistletoe on Sunday evening. Today I have the symptoms of that. I have felt really rough all day. I have had a headache and flu symptoms which is classic of the treatment.
I got my little car sorted out today. I made a mistake of filling her up with oil and I over filled her. My wonderful mechanic has cleared it out, she is now running a lot better.
Kieran didn't go to holiday club today as he was sick last night. He hasn't done this for weeks. I don't think he wanted to go today. He made himself sick when he was in his last days of school. After taking him to the Dr's to get checked out, he went back.
I went to the theatre royal, plymouth yesterday evening with my friend, Helen.
We went to see "Dorian Gray" which was adapted by Matthew Bourne. He had changed the play into a contempary dance. Helen and I enjoyed it, it was a real shame the oil painting wasn't included in the show, that had been changed to a dopplegamnger or and evil twin.
I returned to work today and will have mt 3 days off on Tuesday, back to work Friday and then off to Brixham.....yay!!!
Kieran is with his dad for 3 days. He went in to the city centre to see his buses today. He wants to go to Totnes station when we go to Brixham. I am sure we will squeeze in a trip...I have told him that we will not be looking at stations all week as it is everybody's holiday.
Kieran and I went to Plymouth station yesterday and met Sue from her train. She was going to see a solicitor concerning a claim for her son. We all went for lunch in Hobbs coffee shop, It is a lovely little place that caters for the customer. We went shopping, to Kieran's disgust, for ladies clothes. I explained to him that I go and see his trains and he should do something we want to do. He was very good snd did get a wii game out of it.
We dropped Sue back to the station and came home.
I still have a gaping hole in my ceiling as the new bath is leaking.
I have to get the water pipe out side of the house sorted out as it is leaking.
I shall be glad to get away to Brixham and let James and his team do his stuff.
I have been having night sweats which have been waking me up. I am not sure if it is Theo playing up or if it is the menopause.
I will be so pleased if it is the menopause as I didn't think I would experience it and as for Theo, I don't want him to start playing up now things are going so well.
I will be off to Germany in September for the fourth treatmnet and will find out the results of the third.
I spoke to Dr Maria (Park Attwood) on the phone on Wednesday and she has advised me to up my mistletoe dosage. I will be taking 40mg on Saturday and 20mg on Tuesday. The reason for this is because the symptoms of the mistletoe are very minor. I don't get the itching or redness with the injection. I am not looking forward to doing 2 jabs now, it is all worth it though.
It has been a very relaxing day today. It is good to see Kieran again. My friend, Julie, passed some lovely flowers over today. She has prize winning fushias and has given me some cuttings from them. I hope the rain stays off as the petunias I has, the slugs made a meal of!
I am meeting Sue tomorrow, she lost her sons to Meso, Kieran is looking forward to it as we are going to the station.....yipppeeee???
I love him to bits but the trains I could do without, he loves them and I am sure he will let Sue know exactly what time her train home will arrive.
We have a big hole in the kitchen ceiling as the new bath has a leak, that will be sorted out in a weeks time. Siobhna, Kieran and I are going to Brixham for a week, it is a lovely little fishing village. We went there last year thanks to McMillan nurses who helped us out with the payment for the cottage.
The link above details a patient who is recieving Chilob which is keeping his tumor stable. I haven't found any more information about it yet but I am sure that some wonderful person will sniff out a link. The people who use this site are amazing. Thanks to Julian for finding this link. Julian is a solicitor with Russel Jones and Walker and will be happy to talk to any one about Mesothelioma and a claim. He can be contacted by emailing him at :
Helen was great yesterday, She helped me with my garage and hurt herself in the process. Helen and I rescued a lot of items we had packed up in the garage as we are decoratings. The garage roof leaks and was destroying the items. We took the newly boxed up items to the storage unit I had hired. Helen hurt her thumb as the sliding door to her people carrier clicked out of the track and she strained her thumb. Her husband came out to put it back in. Work was ok today. I was alittle tired, my own fault, I stayed up too late last night. Kieran is with his dad and I miss him and his cuddles. My dads anniversary is coming up soon, it will be 2 years since he died. I still miss him very much. The rememberance wall is looking very good. It is so sad to see the names being added but on the other hand, it is good to see how special these people were to their families. It is their page and has been very popular. I am so glad it has been added.
I went around to see her today and am treating her to a night out next week, we are going to see "Dorian Gray" in the theatre royal, Plymouth. It is a story written by Oscar Wilde and has been adapted for the stage. It will be performed in dance.
I love this story, it is one of my favourite Oscar Wilde plays. It is the tale of a very handsome man who gets his portrait painted and the picture ages rather than him. He keeps it in the attic and is a puzzle to his friends how he stays so young. We would all like one of those I'm sure.
Helen had a Nintendo DS lite for her birthday which she didn't put down. I told her I had one with Space invaders game to play on it.....yay!!!!
I loved the space invaders game back in the 80's (Showing my age now!)
I used to go in the pub with my first ex, before we got married and had the children, and play it on the machine.....Brilliant.
Helen's eldest son, Chris, breeds stick insects and he took out the female to show Kieran and I. She is beautiful. His male stick insect flies in his room, his wigs are so delicate and graceful.
Helen is helping me tomorrow with my garage. We have a leaky roof and it is starting to destroy the boxes we have packed away, I have hired a storage unit and she is going to help me sort it all out.
I started to sort out the garage today. I took some paced up boxes over to a storage facility and picked up some new ones as the garage roof is leaking and I don't want our things being destroyed. Kieran came with me and was very well behaved and helpful. The man behind the counter commented that he should have a treat, oh no.......I knew what was coming next....not trains this time.....BUSES!!! Kieran said he was getting back into buses. I took him to the city centre where he looked at buses, timetables and areas they were travelling to. Kieran thought I was funny while we were driving along as I was screaming .............NNNnnnnoooooooo!!! as we went along. He is a lovely boy, that was the end of me clearing the garage.
I have had so many peple contact me since this broadcast asking about the treatment. I am so pleased to be able to give something to sufferers of Mesothelioma and, hopefully, it will work for them as well.
I also found the Christmas tree one, I am adding it below.
While looking for these I found a really good interview with an insurer. The report is about Des Murphy, another innocent person doing a days work and happens to have asbestos he is working with. He contracted Mesothelioma and has died since. The reporter for BBC north west is relentless with her questions. I thought it would be good to add it and watch as the insurer squirms at the questions being fired at him.
Todays weight - 8st 11lb A pound gained in a week. Thats good, it is going on. I am not happy though because I have a figure I actually like now and I have to get lumpy again : ( I will have to convince Dr D, my oncologist, that the weight loss is due to die and not to Theo. Talking of Theo, I am impressed with his behaviour. The little chat we had in January seems to have paid off and he is loving Germany. I am taing him back on 25th September for his next installment. Hopefully he wil take more of his baggage with him. Last day at work today and then 3 days off. I had a visit form the water board yesterday but I was at work. Damn water pipe!!!! The guy is supposed to be back today, Siobhan has told him I am working so I am not sure if he will be here before I go to work.
I am tired tonight, normal after doing a 10 hour shift. I have one day left and then 3 days off....yay!!! I am doing my mistletoe jab tonight. The rememberance wall has been popular, it is a lovely idea and I am glad we included it on the website. Siobhan has done very well and it looks beautiful. It is a tribute to all those who have perished to Mesothelioma and asbestos related illnesses. Kieran will be back home tomorrow. He is with his dad who is off for 3 days and will do his 3 days when I have my time off.
I didn't have a very good nights sleep last night, I am not sure why but it could be that my dear dad's anniversary is this month. He died on 26th August 2006 and is still greatly missed by all who knew him.
Me and Theo
Claire and Nick, the students who made a short documentary called "Me and Theo" didn't win the soho film festival award.
They did very well to get the little doc chosen and I am sure they will go well.
There were 5 students who did the filming and they were very passionate about the subject.
I am sure their families are very proud of them and what they have achieved.
The documentary was very well done and put across and very strong message.
Well done you guys, you should be proud of yourselves.
I did my first of the 3 days today. I feel a little tired but it was good. I had a picture given to me from my team mates for my birthday. It was the picture that appeared in the local paper of Kieran and myself. They also gave me a frame to put it in. It is lovely and is sat at my desk in work.
I forgot my lunch today and had to buy from the staff canteen. That meant I left my horrible chalky drink at home....((((he he he)))))...... not so bad after all.
It has been very quiet today. Kieran is staying with his dad for 3 days as I am working. I start my 3 days tomorrow. I booked a theatre trip for my friend, Helen, and myself for the 15th August, it is her birthday on 8th August and she, as many other of my friends, has been very good to me. We are gong to see Oscar Wilde's Dorian Gray. I love the old black and white films and the classic Dorian Gray film is one of the best. It will be great to see it in the theatre.
I have been to the train station with Kieran today. He got so excited because a train he had never seen before came into the station. The train he saw was called the National Express. I now Kieran loves his trains and I try so hard to enjoy it. Seeing his face when he is there is enough to put a smile on mine.
This evening I went out to see Flash dance in the theatre with my friends, Chris, Becks, and Becks sisiter, Pam. The MC came on stage and told all the audience that the actress playing the leading role was ill and so was her understudy.
The show was cancelled the night before and he asked if we could all be kind to the young girl who was taking the part as she has only been practicing for 24 hours. She was amazing and the whole show was brilliant. The dancers were fabulous. Bruno Langly (Todd from coranation street) was very good. He has a great singing voice.
I over slept, the first time for a while and was woken up at 10:30 am by the door bell. What a panic, the furniture had arrived, I thought it was coming in the afternoon but , no! I was running around looking for a wig before I answered the door, I couldn't find one so I answered the door with the hood up on my dressing gown. I must have looked a sight. The sofa wouldn't fit in the front room as it was huge, Siobhan and I had chosen the extra large one. I called the company who put in our window and asked them if they could take out the living room window so we could get it through there. It was done in a few minutes. The sofa and chair look wonderful, so comfy and easy to relax in. We just have the kitchen to sort out now and as James is now back off his holiday, he may start that next week. The water board rang last week and tried to tell me i was wasting water by not sorting out a leak they asy I have. I remindedd them that they had taken 8 weeks to tell me about it and to give me the names of contracters. James is going to look into that avenue for me. He is an absolute star.