Saturday, 30 July 2011

Dr's yesterday.

Yesterday I was pleased to hear that all is well with the kidneys, my GFR is 65 which my GP has said is much better than it was. I didn't realise it was bad. Also the thyroid is now over active. I have been taking thyroxine for years for an under active thyroid. I was taking 125 mg, my GP has said to drop it to 100 mg. I had a blood test yesterday to check the blood count at my GP's suggestion, I will get the results next week.
Kieran stayed with his dad yesterday and I went out for coffee at my friend Avis's house and met up with my other friend, Chrissy. We had a lovely afternoon, especially the two children who Avis and her husband adopt. They had great fun with my wig. They had some questions, children are so up front which is lovely.
I am going out tonight with friends to celebrate my birthday, we are going to have an Indian meal and frequent a few bars, I am not drinking as I am driving but that doesn't stop me having a wonderful time.
I am off to Germany next week, I am not looking forward to it. sometimes I feel I want to be left alone. I am going with Jeanette again and leaving from Birmingham.

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

In, out, in ,out and shake it all about!!

Kieran and I watching the trains go by in Plymouth station.

I have been in and out of the house today so many times I think I have lost count!

I went out this morning to post a parcel and collect Richard's hand cream from the chemist.
I then came home and had lunch, after that Kieran and I went to the rail way station so he could look at the trains. He has decided that being a train dispatcher is his dream job and that is what he wants to do when he leaves school. We came home for a bit, then I was out again to sort out Siobahn's prescription. I went in to see my friend, Tina, for a cuppa and to give Lee, her boy friend, his birthday card. Then it was back home. I am shattered today. Tomorrow I have a phone consultation with my GP as I will need another sick note for work as I am off to Germany next week, All being well with the bloods, for another treatment of Alimta.
Thursday I am seeing Tina again and Friday I will see my GP about the bloods, I hope the results are good. I have had a test for the kidneys and for the thyroid as I have been falling asleep in the afternoons for weeks now. My shoulder (the right one) has been playing up too. Theo resides in the left lung so I know it isn't him. The pain in my shoulder comes and goes and I think that once again it is deferred pain.

Sunday, 24 July 2011

52nd Birthday.

Me with Rich and Kieran, Siobhan isn't too keen on having her picture taken.

I was woken early this morning by the cats wanting their breakfast. I went down stairs, ged them and sat and had a coffee before getting dressed and waking up the children.
We all got ready and left the house around 10 10 am to go for a birthday breakfast. Kieran hadn't been before so he was quite excited about it.
After that we got home and all went off to do our own thing. Siobhan gave me a lovey gift, an address and birthday book from past times, a shop that sells lovely gifts. It was in the art deco style, beautiful.
We are going to stay in this evening and have a curry. Kieran has gone to his dad's for a few days to do his radio show which he is getting quite good at now.

Yesterday my 2 friends came round to see me. Avis and Chrissy had bought me a lovely dragon fly brooch. My friend Tina had got me a Dragon fly wall hanging, does something tell you that I love Dragon flies : )

Saturday, 23 July 2011


Mavis and I at the Mesothelioma UK conference in October.

My lovely warrior friend, Mavis, has had some bad news. Her 'Mr Nasty' as she calls her mesothelioma, is making a return.
I know how it feels when you are first told that the disease is progressing, I feel like I want to curl up in a ball and be left alone. Mavis is such a positive person but I know will be feeling very low at the moment.
It is such a hard journey to be on and sometimes I get the feeling of just wanting to be left alone.
Love to you Mavis, all the warriors are behind you, take your time, get your head together and you will be back fighting x x x

Friday, 22 July 2011

Busy couple of days.

Wednesday I went to the cinema with my friend Chrissy, we went to see Brides maids. I started to sound like a real old miser when we got to the cinema. We had an Orange Wednesday ticket, no I don't get them free, and had to pay £8.55 for one ticket!! I was so shocked, I even nagged at the poor lad at the till about it. By the time we would have had pop corn and drinks it would have been around £20 I am sure, good job we snuck in our own sweets and drinks : )
The film was brilliant, a little rude in parts, lots of swearing but excellent. We laughed all the way through it.

Yesterday evening I went out with my friend Tina for an un-birthday meal. She bought me a beautiful dragon fly wall ornament and some flowers as she will be away at the weekend. We spent an hour and a half finding a place as every where was busy. Eventually we found somewhere, the Chaddlewood, and had some catch up time as we haven't seen each other for a while. We then went into the local shop where Tina bought a birthday cake for her boyfriend, Lee, whos birthday is today.

Today was a very special day, my little Bean's last day as a year 9. He is so excited about going into year 10 and being a year away from college. He makes me so proud, he wants to do the Duke of Edinburgh award which I am so pleased to hear.
I put in an official complaint about Kieran's treatment yesterday and will be having a meeting in September. I hope it will be taken seriously as that poor boy went through so much in his first years of senior school.
I am going to take pictures of all my wigs as I want to keep track of them all. I have 3 polystyrene heads to put them on, ooohhh.... so exciting!!!

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Thinking of Kieran all day.

I didn't have a good night last night. I was tossing and turning with worry about what Kieran had gone through in 2009. I rang the school to speak to the people I needed to. I went in the afternoon and was assured all had been dealt with although the teacher in question had denied what he had made Kieran do.
I am not happy and feel that the teacher has got away with so much. I would love to meet him face to face and tell him exactly what I think of him and bully him like he did my son.
It crucifies me to think that I was sending my child to school and he wasn't happy. I should have been assured that all was well. I trusted this person with Kieran and the trust has been broken. I have told Kieran that anything that happens in school he needs to talk about, he can tell me, his dad, his sister, his brother or his teachers but he needs to talk.
Poor Kieran, it has brought back so many bad memories with him. I have been advised to do nothing as things are still being dealt with and this could take years. I am uncertain about what to do, all I know is I want this person to be accountable for what he has done.

So upset

I had a phone call yesterday afternoon that broke my heart. My little boy had been bullied by a teacher and I didn't know. His dad and I are so upset. The teacher has been suspended, the case is now closed, I was told about what happened yesterday. One thing this teacher did was lie to Kieran. When he went away on a trip the children had sausages to eat. Kieran told his teacher that he only eats veggie sausages. The teacher told him it was, Kieran ate it. When he had finished the teacher told Kieran he had lied and it was a real sausage. I was upset by this and did tackle the teacher about it at the time who did apologise.
I spoke to Kieran yesterday, he told me of an incident that happened in the class when he was writing. The teacher told him to hold his pencil properly, according to Kieran, he asked for help, the teacher got cross and told him to stand outside the class room as a punishment. I asked Kieran why he didn't tell me. He said he was afraid to as he thought the treatment would be worse. This all happened in 2009. April 2009 was his school trip.
I feel so guilty for not knowing and so angry that I sent my little boy to school and he was being bullied and lied to by his teacher. I am going to look into it further, this has upset me so much : (

Monday, 18 July 2011

Last week of school for Kieran.

Saturday I had some girly time with my friends, Chrissy and Avis. We went to Avis's house and had a Princess night were we all wore tiarar's. It was lovely, we didn't get to bed till 3am as we decided to watch a film. Sunday I was so tired. I stayed over at avis's and had breakfast, all cooked by her husband, Graham. They are great hosts. Chrissy dropped me back home where I fell asleep on the sofa for about an hour.
Kieran came home after styig with his dad for the weekend, he has his eye on yet another game for his xbox!! It isn't out until November so I have said we will see how things go.

Richard is starting his new job today, it is work experience for 4 weeks. I hope he follows it through, the problem he has is that he has met someone online and wants to meet her. I have told him his priority has to be the job. He isn't happy with that but he will have to deal with it.
Kieran has his last week at school. He will be in year 10 when he returns. He is growing up so fast.

Friday, 15 July 2011

Happy Birthday Richard.

My number one son is 22 today. He had a difficult start to his life, he was born unable to swallow.
This mean that his oesophagus (food pipe) was connected to his trachea (windpipe). He has a pouch in his throat where the oesophagus should have been. He was transported to Bristol royal childrens hospital and the next day had a major operation to repair the defect.
This was a heart breaking time as I had never heard of Oesophageal atresis (OA) and Tracheo oesophageal fistula (TOF).
Finding out 30 years later that I had the same condition was another shock but advised us as a family that there was a congenital illness in the genes.
22 years on and Rich is a happy, healthy man.
We celebrated Richard's un- birthday a few days ago because Kieran doesn't get back till late tonight. I am taking him out for a birthday breakfast today.

Richard, have a wonderful day, love you so much x x x

Thursday, 14 July 2011

Bon Voyage Bean.

A message for Heather?

Kieran is off to France this evening. He leaves at 11pm, quite late, the teachers are expecting the children to go to sleep by midnight and up tomorrow morning at 7 am ....... good luck!!!
I am sure they will all have a wonderful time. Kieran has 20 euros to take with him, I wonder what he will spend it on? My bet is sweets, we shall see.

I ordered myself another wig yesterday, it was only £35 in the sales so I'm not breaking the bank.
I haven't done much today, did a little bit of shopping and had quite a restful day. Spoke to some wonderful people on the phone. Pete, Margaret's husband. He was so apologetic because he nearly broke down on the phone and I told him he was entitled to tears.
I also spoke to Heather who lost Alan, we had a twilight zone moment. I told her I had a dream about Alan. He was covered in daisies and only his face was showing. He had the biggest smile I have ever seen. Heather sounded taken aback by this and told me that she went in the garden and was shown a flower patch were someone had written Granddad in daisies ......... I had tingles going down my spine. Spooky, It would be lovely to think that it was Alan saying how happy he was with the Granddad message I hope it was a happy message for Heather, she was Alan's rock, such a wonderful person. We will keep in touch for a very long time.

Wednesday, 13 July 2011

Bean away again : (

My little Halo car, shining like a dollar : )

I went into town this morning to get a few bits. I got to the car park and decided that Halo, my little car, should have a treat too. She had a lovely car massage. She is gleaming happily now, beautiful. While in the city centre, I booked into the wig shop to have 2 wigs altered, the fringe needs cutting and one may need altering as I have a small head and most wigs are far too big for me. I have an appointment for Friday.
I got back home and readied myself to meet my lovely friend, Mandy, for lunch. It was lovely to catch up with her, she is such a brave lady, an inspiration to me. She dealt with alopecia so well and now has kidney dialysis to cope with, she always has a smile. Every time we see each other we say we won't leave it so long next time but our lives get busy and we forget. Talking of forgetting, I am sure I have chemo brain. I thought Mandy said 1:30pm and she thought I said 12:45pm. She will be the one who is right I am sure : )

I have to get Kieran's bag packed for France tomorrow, he is away from Thursday evening till Friday evening and really looking forward to it.

Out to eat last night.

Me with number one son : )
Me with my beautiful boys.

Kieran had parents evening yesterday after school, he is doing so well. I sorted out the communication issues that have been going on and they are going to be looked into. Apart from that, all is good. Kieran has done so well at school. He talks to his teachers and to his dad and I if anything is bothering him which is good. He has had some bother from a lad in school but his teacher has said it will be dealt with.

Full house magazine called to confirm the article they are printing in August. It sounds fine although they do gloss it up a bit as they write it in a way their reading majority understand.

In the evening the children and I went out to eat. We went to Frankie and Benny's as they do a brilliant birthday song there. Richard's birthday is on Friday so he had an un-birthday meal as Kieran will be in France, he gets home late Friday evening. We haven't been out as a family for such a long time and it was lovely, I really enjoyed the evening. What topped it all was when I was getting ready to go to bed, Rich wrapped his arms around me and said thank you for the meal, it was such a special moment. I am so lucky having 3 wonderful children. They make me proud every day.

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Remembering Alan.

Thoughts and love to Heather who is celebrating the life of Alan today. I wish I could have been there today but family commitments make it difficult. Kieran had a tummy bug on Friday and I wasn't sure what was happening with that. He has parents evening today.

Heather and Alan were so kind to me, as I said in a previous blog, they helped me out when I was feeling so low after a bad diagnosis. Alan was a wonderful inspiration to me.
Condolences to Alan's family and to Heather who has been his angel. x x x

Monday, 11 July 2011

Hospital all day today.

Todays wig : )

Kieran went off to school, he has been trying to stay home but mum's and dad's know when children are pulling a fast one. He has been having problems with another child in school and that may be the issue.

Hospital wasn't for me today, it was for my lovely friend, Carolyn. She hasn't been feeling well and I offered to take her to A&E to get checked out. We got there about 12:30pm and left at 3:00pm, at least she got her blood results that showed that all her vitals were fine. That was a worry off her mind, she will go to her Dr and speak to him when the results arrive at her Dr's surgery. It is so awful feeling so poorly. I hope that the hospital has put her mind at rest.

I had a different wig today, it was one I found in a box and I am sure it is one of the last ones I bought in 2008 as it looks so new. I am gradually getting through them all and taking pictures as my facebook friends and people who read the blog seem to love the variety and fun I get from it. I hope it helps others in my position see that hair isn't that important. It shouldn't rule what you do. I know when I lost mine first time I was so upset but being around Michelle Chapman and people like her makes you realise that you can have a life with out hair.

Another week begins.

Kieran is much better and back to school today.
He is off to France this week, only over night and I hope he enjoys it.
The weather is lovely today, blue skies and sunshine, no rain I hope. There has been so much rain over the last few days.

Thank you to everyone who have written to me. Many are feeling sad for me as I have lost my hair and having treatment again. Please don't be sad, I am fine. it will take a lot to get rid of me!! Theo, my mesothelioma, has progressed very slightly and I am having treatment to keep on top of it. The hair falling out is nothing, I can cope with that, it is only hair. It will grow back again, If I can get Theo sorted and lose my hair I will be one happy bunny. Thank you so much for caring, it is a wonderful feeling to be loved so much. I hope I can return it.
It is a busy week, number 1 son is 22 this week, as Kieran is going away on Richard's birthday, we will go out to eat on Tuesday. Where does the time go, 22 years!!
Rich starts his work experience job next Monday for 4 weeks. It will be good to see him have a job instead of sitting at a computer screen!

Saturday, 9 July 2011

Wembury Carnival.

My red fringed wig is the wig of the day today. This is one of my favourites.
Katherine Endicott opened the Carnival.
Katherine's medals from the commonwealth games 2010.
The children danced around the Maypole.
Local honey from the school bee hive.
The gorgeous Michelle and myself, going baldy!!
Michelle, Teresa and I, a rose between 2 baldies : ) (I was standing on tip toes hear, hard to believe I know!)
My lovely friend, Lyn and I.

I was hoping the weather would stay dry today. I am venturing out to Wembury school for their carnival. I didn't need to worry as the weather was very favourable.
I was looking forward to seeing Michelle chapman, she is a great inspiration to me. When I had alopecia a few years ago, I was devistated at losing my hair.
Michelle ran a support group for sufferers and I went along and was quickly humbled by the people there. Michelle lost her hair at the age of 5. Other people there were younger than me and had no hair, there was me bawling about having a few patches. Michelle is confident enough to walk around with no wig on, she is an amazing woman.
Seeing her today was wonderful and I wanted a picture with her and me wigless.
This would be the first time I had removed my wig in public and it was so liberating.
I also caught up with Teresa who did my eye brow tatoos, my eye brows have never grown back so I will be contacting Teresa again about getting it done.
While there I saw my friend, Lyn, who is a teacher at the school. It was so lovely to see her.
I bought some local honey, I am going to see if having 1 spoonful a day helps Kieran with his pollen allergy. It is said 1 spoonful of local honey helps as it is from the same pollen, we can but try. The honey is from the bee hive in the school, the children harvest it and sell it. Such a lovely idea.

Lovely day today.

Kieran didn't go to school yesterday, he wasn't feeling well. He has a tummy bug, hope it is nothing he has eaten while away. He stayed with his dad and I met up with Wendy, a lady who used to be my driving instructor many moons ago. She lost her brother to mesothelioma 2 years ago. I went with her to Saltram and showed her the meso tree. I was so gutted she missed the event, I hadn't realised that she knew nothing about it, I could have called her but it went right out of my mind, I could kick myself.
When we got to Saltram, we had a wander up to the tree. It was lovely to see it again, a few flowers were lying at the base of the tree, left from the mesothelioma gathering a few days before. We then went onto the Lord Louie pub and had lunch. Wendy dropped me back home, it was so lovely to see her and be able to spend some time with her.

Thursday, 7 July 2011

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

Going .......
going .........
Chrissy with one of my wigs.

Kieran went back to school today, first day after his school trip.
I had a gentle morning, took out the bins, did the dishwasher and washed Kieran's clothes in his suitcase. I gave him 2 disposable cameras, no surprise that one is missing.
My friend Chrissy cam round at luch time and took off the rest of my hair as it is falling out all over the house.
She did a grand job but seemed upset on having to do it. I told her she has done me a great favour and hope she realises that I may have no hair but I am still here.
We had a bit of fun trying on my wigs, she has decided that she should stay blonde, I agree, it suits her. She suggested that I go blonde, I let her know that after trying blonde wigs, I look like Myra Hindley .... not good!!!

Kieran got home from school and then was back out again to go to his dad's, Rich came home earlier and I picked Siobhan and David, her boyfriend, up in the city centre later in the day, All my babies are home : )
Kieran has informed this evening he has tummy ache and been to the bathroom so no school for him tomorrow.

Wednesday, 6 July 2011

My Bean is home!!!!

I was expecting to pick Kieran up at 2pm today, 12:25 I got a call from his school asking where I was as he was asking was I picking him up. Poor Kieran, no one had rang to tell me.
It was great to see him, he had really enjoyed himself, shame it is spoiled by lack of communication. This made me so angry, about time the communication got sorted out.
He will be doing travel training on Friday with school, he is doing so well. He was supposed to go last Thursday but the trainer didn't turn up, communication again, the information was there but no one told Kieran so one very anxious boy was unsure what was happening. I hope it gets sorted out as I don't think it is good enough.

Kieran will be back at school as normal tomorrow. It's so lovely to see him so grown up and enjoying being with others. His next trip is France next week. I am so proud of him, he is my Bean x x x

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Lovely day in Axminster.

Ronny and Robert's cottage they are staying in.
Ronny in the cottage grounds.
Ronny and I in River Cottage.
Ronny and Robert waiting for lunch.

Ronny and Robert outside the cottage.
Me waiting for the train home.

Ronny and her husband Robert have been wonderful today. I got up early to get the 8:53 train to Exeter and them a train from Exeter to Axminster. I arrived around 11am and met Ronny and Robert at the station.
It was so good to see them both. We went back to their country cottage they were staying for the week, had a little natter and then headed out to Axminster as we were going to have lunch at Hugh Fernley- Whittingstall's River Cottage, It is situated in the town centre.
We queued up for 30-45 minutes before getting a table. The set up is very rustic, farm house type decor, very basic and what I would expect from Hugh.
We ordered some drinks and our food, kept talking and catching up on what is going on with us both. We then had a coffee and made our way back to the cottage for about 3 ish.

At around 5:30, after much chatting, mostly from me : ), Ronny and Robert took me to the station.
I was so pleased I decided to go and see them, it has been a joy today. Mind you, one the way home if anything happened, my DNA is It's at the stations. on the trains, in the cottage, in the town centre, in the River cottage.... damn hair.
I know I am going to get tired of my hair falling out, it will be whipped off with the clippers, will it last the week!!! ........Who knows???

Monday, 4 July 2011

A very quiet house today.

My Fu Manchu impression...... Time to dust off those wigs!!!

I got Kieran's bag and suit case packed for his caravan trip with his school. He is looking forward to it so much. He will be back on Wednesday so it isn't too bad. I will miss him though, especially his anti hug and kiss moments as he feels he is too old with all that and I embarrass him, well at least he will remember all that!
He has all his medication for his hay fever and wrist bands for travel sickness. He was funny yesterday when he spotted the beach toys I had bought for him to take. There was a beach ball, swim ring and a float, all for £3, seemed cheap enough and it doesn't matter if it doesn't come home for that price. Kieran came home and saw the package, he said had I seen what was written on the front in his very official voice. I told him I had, it said 4+. So, why had I bought them for him, he was assuming that they were for small children. I told him that children 4 and under could not play with them, the beach toys were for older children. Ah well, that's ok then was Kieran's response, he seemed happy with that explanation : )
Siobhan has gone to stay at her boy friends house for a few days, so it is Rich and I at home.
He doesn't bother me much, he is on his computer most of the time. I have the kitties for company though.
Tomorrow I am hopefully going to see Ronny and Robert as they are holidaying in Devon and it seemed silly not to meet up with them.

My hair is coming out so it will be back to wigs and bandanna's, I think it is the Alimta that is doing it as it is more toxic than the other chemo drugs. I am not worried though as I have my wigs from my alopecia days and will have a lot of fun deciding which one to wear which day.

Sunday, 3 July 2011

Kal's Christening.

Rachel, Matt and Kal, ready for his Christening.
Rachel and Matt with Kal's cake.
Ali and I.
The lovely cake.
Me with Rachel and Ali.

It's a beautiful sunny day, I am so pleased as little Kal has his Christening this afternoon. I got some washing done and hung out, went to the shop to get some last minute things for Kieran's school trip tomorrw, had lunch and then got myself ready to go out.
I went out and picked up my friend, Ali, who was going to the Christening too.
We made our way to the church and it was a good job I left home way before I needed to as..... yes ....... you guessed it, I got lost!!
I had my SAT NAV on but as the roads are gaining a new lay out, it was a nightmare getting to Plymstock. Ever the navigator, NOT, I stopped the car and ask a pedestrian for direcrtions, sorted!!
Ali and I got to the church in good time, I followed her as we made our way in. Rachel and Matt were standing very proudly with their beautiful so, Kal.
Kal was handed to the vicar and cried the whole time. Soon he was hande back to his dad and seemed a lot happier.
The service was very short, after that we made our way to another room to have something to eat. It was so good to see Ali and Rachel again, we all work together and it has been a long time since we got together.
After the Christening, I took Ali home to her house and made my way home. I have to finish packing Kieran's bag as he is on a school trip till Wednesday.
I am going to be Beanless for 2 days : (

Friday, 1 July 2011

Action Mesothelioma Day 2011

Laying flowers at the memorial tree in memory of loved ones lost and those still fighting the mesothelioma.

Maria and I

Today has been a great success. I got up early this morning and headed for the local radio station who allowed me to go on and talk about Mesothelioma and the support group.
Then it was back home to see Kieran off to school.
Siobhan, her boyfriend, David and I got our selves ready and went off to Saltram house for the launch of the South West Mesothelioma support group.
The sun shone and the rain kept off which made the day even more of a success. I met up with faces old and new as we all made our way to the tree to lay flowers in memory of loved ones lost to the disease and those still fighting.
The media have been a great help to us, locally I think the word is spreading well. Hopefully all the other groups who have organised their event for action mesothelioma day have had as much success as us.