I got up this morning and ambled around. Gave the kitties their breakfast and then had mine. I got dressed and slapped on my makeup. This masks everything that is going on inside, I feel like somebody is trying to get out and wants to scream and shout about how angry I am. I went off to the hospital, not a place I really wanted to be but I had an appointment to get a B12 injection done and to pick up pills that I have to start before the wonderful chemo.
I have folic acid to take every day and a steroid to take the day before it all starts. I am feeling so down and know I need to kick myself out of it. I feel like my silent stalker is catching up to me. I need to run faster to get away from him.
I quickly buzzed into town to get a few bits and then home. Kieran will be home today so I was waiting and watching the clock. I know when I get there he will tell me he wants to get the bus home.
I got to school just as his school bus arrived. I saw him get off the bus, I wanted to run to him and give him the largest hug I could but I knew that he wouldn't like that in front of his friends and I would also be in floods of tears as I have missed him so much. I had to quell the pain of the tears, what made it worse was standing in the lovely sunshine and looking at his wonderful face, smiling, happy and telling me about the time he had had. He was so excited. He asked how the cats were, so sweet. At least he missed them. So, I had the suitcase and the back pack, where the welly boots are is any bodies guess. I took all the gear and, as I said before, Kieran is coming home on the bus.
I got back home with all his stuff and just bawled my eyes out. Thanks to my lovely friend Lou in Australia who has listened to my banshee out burst today. Theo and I haven't been this close for a long time, The last time he was this close was 3 years ago, I went to Germany for the very first time in May 2008. 3 years later, here he is again, with that smirkish grin on his face. I hope to wipe it right off of his face. I miss Richard so much, I have missed Kieran this week and Siobhan has just been amazing, she supported me at the hospital on Wednesday and has been my little rock. I have been offered a trial in the USA but it means 22 weeks away from home, such a long time and such a lot to sort out. Work, Kieran, Siobhan, it's an awful lot to do, Dilemmas!!!!
Just unpacked the suit case and found that Kieran had not used toothpaste, soap flannel, nothing. Dirty littl scamp, all back to normal : )