Friday, 27 July 2012

Another day that nothing goes right!!

I left the house at 9:45 am to get back to the hospital for 10am, it's chemo day, no PICC line in so it will be a cannula for every treatment but all agreed now it should done by an anesthetist, one time only. The cannula I had put in yesterday would be tested but as the hole is bigger than the cannula, it may leak. I thought it would and so did everyonr else, as the saline was put it, it leaked right back out again so that one is no good, I need another one. My head is going crazy, by feelings are rock bottom, so low, I felt like crying, infact I did and had tears all morning. It got to 11am, I had a test to check my bloods, blood test shows that my cells are all over the place because of the shingles I had 2 weeks ago that has now cleared up. My HB (blood count) is 9 which is borderline so there may not be any chemo today.  Here we go, the adventure has started. Jo the nurse came up after talking to Dr D, he wants the chemo done and a transfusion next week, I can't get away from this bloody hospital!!!
I took my pre chemo drug, I have to take this an hour before treatment starts. It has been arranged that the anesthetist will be up with me before he goes home. Well....that is what should have happenned. A porter came up with a patient and Jo asked him where Mr F was as he was doing my cannula, it is 12:15pm, I need the chemo in 15 minutes due to the pill I took mind you. "Oh he will be back in this afternoon" came back the answer, "he has gone home".... grrrrr!! why me!!! not again, I had my greif yesterday!!!
Jo came in and said she thinks he has forgotten and he will be mortified when he remembers. She then said she had arranged for another anesthetist to do it instead, so off we went to the pre theatre room to have the next cannula fitted. It was done, quick as a flash, Hooray, at last!!
As I walked back to my room I started wailing again, I really can't control it today. Chemo scares me to death because of what my dad went through, mix that with the anger of this disease and it is a rotten combination.
We got the chemo started.....a big famous fine, ..... hoorah!!!.....  all is going fine, at last.
My friend Jeantte got in touch and asked if I was on my own, I was, she said she would come up to me.
She is so lovely. I told her I heard the hospital chaplin doing his rounds, I am not in the mood for him today, I don't do religion, and know we all need our own faith that pulls us through, it really helps some people, its too much for me at the moment. I layed on my bed pretending to be asleep, With one eye open I might add until he went past. Apologies to those who find this offensive, It's just not for me.
When the chemo was all done, we waited for a bit before Jeanette dropped me home.
Siobhan was out doing the shopping, she had tidied up the house beautifully. I made Jeanette a cuppa, she left about 30 minutes later when Siobhan got back.
I got in touch with Jayne and Chrissy as Chrissy had offered to take me to Jayne's house for Egg, chips and a chip butty, For my American buddies this is fried egg, fries and a fries sandwich.
It was delicious, Jayne is the best at egg and chips (fries)!!!
Then Chrissy and I left there and went to Matalan and then to Asda to look for a top for her. I found a lovely bag in Asda, yes.... it is a cat one : ) Which I found in Matalan either that or a dragonfly. Chrissy was laughing at me, when I am on steroids I change personality, there were 2 dogs waiting in their car for their owner, bark, bark, bark, they went as we passed the car. I was shouting "woof bloody Woof" to them. It wasn't me, it was my steroid sister coming out!!! As we drove by she got worse, she was waving her to fingers up to them shouting "Woof F%*@ing Woof, what you going to do about it??"
The steroid sister is the worst, Chrissy though it was so funny, it's nuts!!! She dropped me off at home and I got me jammies on and got into bed.
Next week is early starts, Monday 8:30 am for cross matching the bloods for Tuesday and Tuesday in 7:30am .... yes i said silly o'clock on Tuesday so the anesthetist can put the cannula in before I have the chemo as he will be in theatre. ... Whoopee!!! I am hoping I can drive, will have to see other wise it will be a taxi, I will get there some how.

Foot note:
To all the lovely people who have sent me such lovely messages of support, thank you so much, you don't know how much this gets me through these very difficult times, I miss my dad so much as I know he would be ready with a hug and words of comfort like any good parent would for their child. Not every parent is like that unfortunately. Once again, thank you so much everyone, I appreciate it so much x x x

2 comments:

afchco yanma said...
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Debbie said...

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