Here I am, sat in bed at 12:30am and wide awake. My mind is buzzing, all I can think about is that damn scan tomorrow. I am trying so hard to think of something else. I hate this art of the journey, not as much as I hate mesothelioma though, I will alway hate that.
I feel like my silent stalker has caught up with me. I have been dodging him for weeks but he has got ahead of me and is blocking my way. I don't want to talk to him, I know he won't leave me till Thursday or Friday next week. I close my eyes and try to sleep and all I see is that damn scanner,I always concentrate on the manufacturers name when I am laying there, waiting to be holograph end from the inside. It is made by Phillips,when I see that I think of my dad, he is watching over me as I have the scan, his name was Philip. I feel protected when I am there,he watches over me every day, my angel, my protector. I suppose I should try and get some sleep now. Good night dad, I love you and know you are always there for me. I will look at that name tomorrow and remember that your not very far away at all x x x x x