Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Kieran's annual review.

I met Kieran and his dad at school today. Kieran had his annual review today, this was to make sure that his statement stays in place and that he gets support when he goes to college.
I was doing quite well until I started seeing the comments made that concerned how Kieran would be supported in the future. FURURE... what a word, it broke me, especially when my little boy wrote that he would try and cope with what would happen. I cried....AGAIN!!!! It has been painful these past few days, I can't remember being so low before. I want to be here to make sure that my lovely boys future is all he wants it to be, I want to be here to support him and help him through college.
I should be proud to even be at this point, so why don't I feel happy? I just want tomorrow out of the way, I am wishing my life away and I shouldn't be doing that. I should be happy I am still here 6 years on. We lost another warrior last night and another who has had a rotten diagnosis. I should be grateful for being here and hopefully, conquering this damn disease again.
I am so proud of Kieran and how he was at the review today.

I left the school and went into town just to pick up a couple of bits. When I was walking back, I felt so weak and felt like I was going to throw up. Maybe it is the stress of tomorrow that is doing it? I nearly called one of my friends because I felt so unwell. I got myself to my car, had a sit down for a few minutes and then made my way home. At home I laid on the sofa and fell asleep. I might just give myself a swift kick up the rear and get myself kicked into touch.

I don't like feeling this low. Roll on tomorrow when I get the results, I am hoping that this black mood will lift.

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