I was doing quite well until I started seeing the comments made that concerned how Kieran would be supported in the future. FURURE... what a word, it broke me, especially when my little boy wrote that he would try and cope with what would happen. I cried....AGAIN!!!! It has been painful these past few days, I can't remember being so low before. I want to be here to make sure that my lovely boys future is all he wants it to be, I want to be here to support him and help him through college.
I should be proud to even be at this point, so why don't I feel happy? I just want tomorrow out of the way, I am wishing my life away and I shouldn't be doing that. I should be happy I am still here 6 years on. We lost another warrior last night and another who has had a rotten diagnosis. I should be grateful for being here and hopefully, conquering this damn disease again.
I am so proud of Kieran and how he was at the review today.
I left the school and went into town just to pick up a couple of bits. When I was walking back, I felt so weak and felt like I was going to throw up. Maybe it is the stress of tomorrow that is doing it? I nearly called one of my friends because I felt so unwell. I got myself to my car, had a sit down for a few minutes and then made my way home. At home I laid on the sofa and fell asleep. I might just give myself a swift kick up the rear and get myself kicked into touch.
I don't like feeling this low. Roll on tomorrow when I get the results, I am hoping that this black mood will lift.