Friday, 16 November 2012

What a day.

It has been one of those days today, my head is somewhere else. I am so frightened and worried about the results on Wednesday. I had a bath this morning and relaxed, while relaxing, the tears just flowed, I was reciting how much I hate asbestos and how it has destroyed my life and my dad's life.
I got out of the bath, went down stairs and wrote it all down on the rage page on FB.
I have just been feeling so tearful today. I went to the shop as I needed a few bits. Kieran is having a friend round for a sleep over today, I wasn't sure as I felt so miserable but that is no excuse to make him suffer for it. If it wasn't for my children, I would have got in my car and kept driving. I had a call from my warrior friend Tracey, who had rang me while I was in the shop. I called her back when I got in my car, she had a blast, poor thing, she is my lil sis, her and Angela are a great support to me.
I had to go to the shop again because Kieran had pulled his HDMI lead out of his XBOX and broke it, brilliant. I was looking to see which one I needed when I heard some guys around the other aisle talking about XBOX. I went around to them and asked them if they could help me find the correct lead, they were really helpful. I paid for it, got out of the shop and then realised I still had the security tag on it... Nothing went off at the exit to alert the staff when I went out or came back in. Successfully removed, I got in my car and drove home.
I was still feeling really low but forced myself to get back in my car and drive to Jayne's for tea.
I nearly cancelled my egg and chips. I did go and just burst into tears when I got there. Jayne, Chrissy and Viki were very patient with me. I got it out of my system. I didn't spend long at Jayne's.
This is the depressed part of cancer, everyone I talk to seems to got through it, it is called scanxiety or the CT blues. I felt so miserable,
I have the most fabulous friends, so helpful and comforting. I appreciate every one of them.


I got a lovely angel from Rose, my lovely warrior friend, she has called him Norm after her wonderful husband. Thank you so much Rose, he really cheered me up. He maybe a little tired when he comes back to you : )

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