It's 3:30 am and I am wide awake. Had a few tears, I feel so low at the moment. I had a lovely day out with Tina. Had fun trying on dresses, I just feel so lonely. Night time is the worst, especially when I am feeling like this. I sometimes wish I had someone who I could share all this with, someone who would say, mums tired, talk to me.
My warrior friends are wonderful, why do they have to be scattered so far away?
I haven't been feeling that grand over the last few days, I feel selfish for talking like this as so many have been lost, I think losing Cher has hit me very hard.
Her husband is such a super star, still supporting me even when dealing with his own pain.
People are so kind, I feel guilty about being depressed, I should be happy I am still here, so why aren't I?
I am so frightened, I don't want Theo having control, I owe it to my warrior friends to buck myself up and get on with my life. I have my lovely storkie boy sat beside me, he is such a comfort to me, I know he is only waiting for the iPad to play his cat game but he does show so much affection, I will forgive him that one.
There it is, the morning rant. Now I will try and get back to sleep.