Monday, 29 April 2013

Emotional day

 I got up this morning, I slept well but felt I hadn't slept at all, I was shattered. I got myself ready for my appointment today at St Lukes, all on time, organised school for Kieran to be half day, made a few phone calls I needed to catch up on and was out of the house by 9:20am.
I got to St Lukes and told the receptionist I had an appointment, she looked puzzled, couldn't find my name. I took my letter out of the bag to check, I am a dozey mare, it is tomorrow. I apologised and then went off to take the wheel chair back that I hired. I then went to my friend Mandy's house, had a few tears, poor Mandy. She listened to me drone on, Her husband, Dave, very kindly washed Livvy for me, she looks sparkling clean now, She had seagull poop on her and the seagull must have had one mighty meal for what he had left on my car!!

Back home and I had a bite of lunch and then off to bed, I was so tired. I slept for a couple of hours and still woke up feeling I hadn't slept. One of the phone calls this morning was about Halo, my old car. She is still in the garage. I decided to call a scrap merchant after all, I can't get her sorted out, what with being in hospital and not being on top form, she has been neglected. David, Siobhan's boyfriend offered to help me change her number plate and get the rest of the things out of the car. I opened the garage and that was it, I felt a pang of sadness, so guilty that this little car that had given me so much freedom and motivation is going to be scrapped. We got the number plate sorted, I bought one with a dragonfly on that Siobhan had designed and was changing her back to her original one. Why do I feel like a traitor, It is a car, I keep telling myself that but I can't accept it.
I know I will be upset tomorrow when she goes.
I also realised that it is the CT scan results on Wednesday so it is probably the CT blues or Scanxiety rearing it's ugly head.
My TOF (Tracheo Oesoplageal Fistula) is playing up so I will need a soft diet until I have a dilatation which is a procedure to widen the oesphagus.

                                                                   Nearly got it.......

                                                                 ..... Just missed it........

                                                                           ...... Got it!!!

So all in all, a feel sorry for meself day, thank goodness for my lovely friends and family and my kitties who make me smile. Amber did that today. She was playing with my dragonfly decoration in the garden. What a joy she is : )

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